mE and My life

Angel

2011-12-22T12:28:00.000-08:00

Tommy took the ornament out of the little box and carelessly swung it from its hanger placing it in a very convenient spot at the bottom of the tree.
“Tomas Daren Parks! You give me that ornament right this minute!” Grandma’s voice was almost frantic. Putting up her tree wasn’t Tommy’s idea of a great weekend, especially when there was a new layer of snow on the mountain just waiting for him and his snow board. Now she had to go and get picky too. Since his mother’s death a few months ago everything sucked but his snowboard, especially living with his Grandma while his dad was AWOL.
“Here you go.” He handed his Grandma the old trinket and turned to the next item. He pulled out an intricate blub wrapped carefully in tissue paper. He carefully placed it high up in a prominent spot and turned to smile at his Grandma.
The old woman did not look up. She didn’t acknowledge his carefulness with the apparently prized object. She merely sat looking at the piece in her hands with tears running down her wrinkled cheeks. For the first time Tommy really looked at what his Grandma held.
It wasn’t large or even fancy, really it looked like a school day craft. It was an angel made out of shells with what looked like a little fake pearl was glued inside. There really wasn’t anything spectacular about it. And his Grandma was even known to take angels wings off for her decorations.
“Grandma?”
“One shell for every summer he took us to the beach.”
“Huh?”
The old woman looked up and smiled at her Grandson. “Did you know my father was a traveling sales man?”
Tommy chewed the inside of his cheek and looked out the window at the fresh powder. “Sure Grandma. What’s next?”

Grandma took the hint and placed her hand over the treasure gently and pointed to another box in the corner. “You can put those out on the counter and then we’re done.” She opened her hands and looked down again. “You don’t mind if I remaniss while you’re at it, do you?”
Tommy shook his head slicing the box open quickly. One more box, some cookies, and service project over!
“When I was a little girl my father came home about once a month. It was a wonderful time. My mother would dress up in her one nice dress and he’d take us out on the town. How we’d laugh and dance the night away. They held hands and whispered secret jokes to one another. Of course he called to say goodnight every night but when he was home we were all so happy. Then he’d leave and my mother would turn grey and empty again. She was a good mother but we were both lonely. There was one place we were always happy.
At the sea. My father took us there for summer vacation. One whole month of walking sandy shores and collecting wonderful treasures. We were so happy on those long warm days. Five summers we did this and I would keep the most perfect shell each time. See.” She held up the ornament for Tommy to see. He looked and nodded. “We were about to leave and I knew the long days of loneliness would soon consume me again. So I ran away.” Tommy stopped mid- teddy bear and looked at his Grandma.

“You ran away?”
“Wouldn’t you?”
“No, I mean at least you had parents, right?”
“I felt like I only truly had them at the beach.”
“So how’d they find you?”
“They didn’t. She did.” Grandma held up the angel beaming at it.
“Right.” Tommy once again wondered about his Grandma’s sanity.
Grandma frowned, “You are full of things to do but you do not know what you have.” She wagged an aged finger at him, “There’s more to life and being happy than sports and friends.”
Tommy wanted to chuck the ceramic bear at her but he slammed it down instead and just kept unpacking the stupid box. All his friends were back at his home, he had nothing but sports.
“If I stayed on the beach,” she finally continued in a small pleading sort of voice, “my parents would stay and then I could watch them from afar and know that they were happy. At first I headed to a cave I knew of near the shore, but the tide was up and the cave was unreachable, so I went futher down the shore. At first I thought it was my mother’s voice calling me, so I ran. But, instead of getting away from the voice, I only got closer, until coming around a rock I saw her standing on rocks bright and beautiful.
Her shone like sunshine and her face looked out to sea as sad and as miserable as I felt. Just around her the night melted away into day. She called my name without looking at me and waved for me to join her. I crawled up the rock and sat down next to her feeling a comfortable warmth right next to her. ‘You shouldn’t run away.’ She said finally looking at me. She looked so much like my mother but it wasn’t her. I told her I had to. It was the only way for my parents to be happy. ‘You running away won’t make them happy, it will ruin everything.’ She reached down and dipped her hand in the water and pulled out a beautiful shell and opened it. Inside was what looked like a giant pearl. It its surface I could see my parents searching the shore and finding a cold wet body empty and devoid of life with my bow in its hair. I could see my mother and my father sitting with empty eyes and arms as they grew old without any child to fill them. ‘But,’ her voice sung out in the night air, ‘If you go home and live the life you were given,’ once again the scene in the pearl shifted and I saw my father, mother, and myself around theChristmas tree as he told us he’d gotten a job two blocks away and he wouldn’t be leaving anymore. I saw us moving to the sea shore and living happily there for many years. Then I saw children who had yet to be born gathering around myself and a handsome man I latter met and married. Then I saw you grandchildren. I even saw you and your mother the first time she took you sledding.”

Grandma sighed.

Tommy waited patiently fidgeting with the last figurine. Finally he asked, “So that’s it?”
“Almost. She told me to never give up because my life was better lived than run away from and she kissed me and told me she loved me. I went home and it all happened just as I saw. Then one Christmas I noticed my jewelry box had been ransacked and all that was missing were my shells. I asked about it and your mother handed me a small wrapped present saying she had meant to save it for Christmas. I opened it and found this.” She looked down at the angel cradled in her hands. “I had never told anyone about the angel by the sea but she had even found a little pearl and glued it in the shells.” Grandma stood painstakingly slow and walked over to Tommy. She took his hand and slowly placed the small ornament in his hand. “Did I ever tell you how much your mother looked and sounded like my mother? What a life she lived.” She closed his hand over the object. “I think she is your angel now.”

Idea for how to make the ending better? Ideas for names?

2011-12-12T17:04:00.000-08:00

I’ve seen ‘em all. Every kind of low life out there has been
through this court and I’m the lucky man who gets to hustle ‘em through.
That night though, was different. I knew each of the players
intimately.
Three men stood in line waiting for their cases to be
brought up. The court appointed attorney stood at his desk going over his notes
until at last the judge appeared and then finally looked up and nodded in camaraderie
toward his father. I knew this judge to be a good man with six sons the oldest
of whom sat behind the desk. On the other side of the aisle the prosecution glared.
It seemed an obvious violation of propriety to have the favorite son of the
judge as the defense, but it was even worse when you knew that the prosecution was
also the judges son, although they had had a falling out years ago and were now
estranged outside the court room. If you didn’t know them you might think
something funny was going on, but everyone knew justice would be the end
result.
I lead the first man in and shut the door on the other two.
How I pitied the poor man. He rung his hands and wiped his sweat from his brow
with his shoulder. I could tell from his demeanor he knew neither his attorney
nor the judge. The prosecution nodded at him with a knowing smile. So the case
began.
“Please state the offence.” The judge said matter-of-factly.
The defense attorney stood and stated sadly looking at the
client. “I have tried to get this man to come in and confer with me but I have
not seen him until this moment and I have never been give the proper authority to
defend him.” Then sitting back down he looked at the defendant expectantly and
the man shakily stood. The story was simple though difficult to understand between
‘um’s and nervous clearing of throats. He seemed to take no thought for
defending himself. He threw himself on the mercy of the court, his eyes ever
darting back to the prosecution who watched with relish the man who knew he had
been caught and only hoped for a lessened sentence. He plea closed and he fell
into his seat with much trembling. The prosecution looked at his notes and
simply nodded at the judge who then looked at his other son and sighed. The fine,
though strictly appropriate for the offence, was as lenient as possible. The
man cried out. He obviously couldn’t pay it, but there was nothing the court
could do. He was ushered out of the room and I retrieved the next offender.
How he irritated me. He wore a look of confidence and a suit
that said money. Under his arm he carried a briefcase the he immediately plopped
onto the desk next to the defense’s papers.
“Please state the offense.” The judge once again began.
Before the attorney could even say a word the defendant
stood up and smiled familiarly at the judge. I had never seen this man before
yet he seemed to feel completely comfortable here. He began his tale, a surprisingly
similar case to the man who had come before him. He looked at the defense attorney
and began to sight case where, having done his research, he had gotten men off
for similar and worse cases. He knew that his attorney would not only get him
off but he would do it without leaving a mark on the man’s record. He sat down
and looked at his attorney expectantly.
That’s when I noticed the smirk on the prosecution’s face.
He already knew the case was his. The defense stood up and merely stated, “This
man has never set foot in my office. I cannot represent this man as he has never
given me either leave or signatures to do so.” And without another word the man
sat down.
The prosecution stood and caught the attention of the defendant
for the first time. For a moment the man looked confused. Then as recognition
spread across his face, I knew where the man had gotten his slightly skewed
information on the cases the man had sighted. The two brothers looked somewhat similar
and the prosecution used the similarity to his advantage. He often brought defendants into
an office with the defences name on the door, convincing them they were working with their lawyer. They went through all the paper work and preparing a very flawed defence for their case.
The prosecution smoothly pointed out every flaw to the man’s
defense, the flaws he had carefully woven in himself, and declared the need for
a severe punishment. The proud man now lay with his head in his hands, his body
beginning to tremble. The judge shook his head and once again pronounced a fine.
It was more severe than the first but after finding out the other items the prosecution
brought out it seemed a light judgment. Still, the man declared that he could
never pay the full sum. The man was escorted from the room shaking his fists at
the prosecution and screaming the memorized cases that did not apply to his
case.
I walked out to the last man. He sat calmly waiting his eyes
never leaving his defense attorney through the glass. “This way sir.” I
motioned and he followed.
As he approached the attorney’s desk he reached out and
accepted the hand proffered him. The attorney pulled him into an embrace and
whispered something in the man’s ears. He nodded gravely and took his seat.
“Please state the offence.” The judge said for the last
time.
This time the defendant did not stand. The man said nothing
but the defense attorney stood and began the tale. The situation was once again
much like the two before, but it went further. “Once he had realized what had
gone wrong he came to me and began to work things out your honor. I can
personally vouch for his hard work and dedication. He has made full restitution
and has put in community time to teach others how to walk away from these
activities. He is now legally in my employ as a worker for the court.”
The defense sat down and the prosecution stood. The anger on
his face was evident but he kept himself in check. “Your honor, what the defense
claims may be true but the price for the violation still remains to be paid.
Just because you favor my opponent and his buddies does not mean justice may be
ignored.”
The judge nodded and declared the fine and the man looked
stricken. It was obvious from the look of him that he had no such sums. Then
the prosecution stood looked at the document with a pen poised. “I have been appointed
this man’s defense and he has worked with me to make restitution, I will pay
his fine.” And with that he crossed out the man’s name and signed his own
taking on him both the punishment and the crime onto his record. The man behind
the desk burst into tears and the prosecution lost control and shouted in his
brother’s face until he was taken from the room at the defense’s request. Then
I watched as the man embraced the prosecution and thanked the Judge. Then he
looked once more at his attorney and said “I can never repay that amount.”
“That’s alright,” The good man smiled, “You give me your
best, little brother, and it will be well worth it.”
As I locked up that night I thought about my other three
brothers, one behind each carried out in the clutches of justice and then the
other two who now stood discussing another case with our father moving forward
with a work of freedom and mercy. Just like me. I had had my day in court and
because of mercy, now I stand on the side of justice.

(PS Not sure I like the picture... does no one have a painting of Heavenly Father in Judgment with Christ as the advocate and Satan as the accuser?)

Top 4 Thankful

2011-11-24T11:04:00.000-08:00

1: The plan
2: Knowledge of the plan
3: Partisipating in the plan
4: The chance to share knowledge of the plan

The Tartus (Backwards)

2011-11-03T14:40:00.000-07:00

Samantha finished the last word with a flourish of her pen immensely pleased with her creation. The azure blue sky stretched on for miles with delightful seagulls passing unseen across her field of view. She smiled setting the pen and paper to her side and scanning the shore line for her husband. Two days ago he had unknowingly hurled the insult again, but now he would change his tune.
“Mark!, Oh Mark!” She almost sang it out.
Mark appeared from behind a sand dune several yards away, a look of hope on his face. Two days ago she had suddenly taken to writing non-stop and had refused to even acknowledge his presence. It was not the way he had intended to spend his all too brief vacation. “Yes dear?”
“Come, read this.” Samantha responded holding out a thick stack of papers.
With a bound and a leap he reached her side and eagerly began to read.
Samantha hugged her knees imagining the praise and astonishment he would express upon finishing her first novel. Of course it wasn’t prefect but she had always known she was more than just a short story writer no matter what others said. She frowned, with that many pages she would need to give him time. She looked over at him his eyes hastily running across the pages. She had thought it would be interesting but his eyes seemed to fly at an astonishing rate. She smiled and looked back out at the sea, it was even better than she had thought.
She stood up and dusted off the back of her dress just as he burst out in laughter. She turned excitedly wondering where he was and what he had found so funny. Only to see he was closing the last page.
“That was your best story so far Love!” He said with a grin and a chuckle.
“You’ve already finished?” She asked in horror.
He starred warily at her unsure of where her mood was turning or what he was doing to turn it. “Yes,” he said finally, “It was very good though.”
Samantha snatched the pile of papers from him. “Not even you can read a whole novel that fast.”
“A novel?” Mark grabbed the papers back before she could tighten her grip. He flipped quickly through the pages again, his frown deepening. “I’ll grant it’s longer than usual but it’s no novel. Maybe five pages.”
Samantha felt like ripping the pages up and throwing them in his face.
“I can count as well as you can and even a blind man from the top of that cliff can see that there are much more than five pages there!”
“Yes,” he acknowledged slowly looking up at his wife. She glared back and he almost didn’t dare the reply but like a seagull on attack the words slipped out carrying a grin to tug at the corners of his mouth. “But usually you don’t want me to read the parts you’ve crossed out.”

TOO MANY PUPPIES!

2011-10-13T11:54:00.000-07:00

(Well it didn't do the pictures but you get the idea)

“It is time for bed” Mommy said.

Tori said, “Puppy!”

“How many puppies?”

“One red puppy.”

“It is time for bed,” Mommy said.

Emma said, “Puppy!”

“How many puppies?”

“Two pink puppies.”

“It is time for bed,” Mommy said.

Ryn said, “Puppy!”

“How many puppies?”

“Three brown puppies.”

“It is time for bed,” Mommy said.

Tori said, “Puppy!”

“How many puppies?”

“Four black and white puppies.”

“It is time for bed,” Mommy said.

Emma said, “Puppy!”

“How many puppies?”

“Five yellow puppies.”

“It is time for bed,” Mommy said.

Ryn said, “Puppy!”

“TOO MANY PUPPIES! “

My first kiss

2011-09-26T21:34:00.000-07:00

I know sappy but here goes…
I made a promise to myself that I wouldn’t kiss until I was engaged. I didn’t watch kissing on movies or anything. I was saving that part of my life for my chosen. Not that I didn’t have some request and even try to coerce me into kissing them first but it never felt right! Until one night, in cousin Carl’s basement, I was sitting with my boyfriend and I decided it felt right. I brushed my lips against his to let him know I was ready. And you know what… it was worth the wait. I never know kisses could be sweet but they can. We weren’t engaged yet so I didn’t quiet keep my goal (but he refused to propose until we had the rings which didn’t show up until a week before the wedding). But he was my chosen and his kisses have only gotten better with time.

Mrs. Anderson’s Welcoming Party

2011-09-20T14:40:00.001-07:00

It’s hard to say, unless you’re one of those who can say anything, just what Tabitha meant by walking in and taking tea out from under own noses but the result was something of an exaggerated mess. Mrs. Tallborn stood up immediately and walked out, sniffing as though her feelings had been so hurt that tears were already brimming. Miss. Talous, always seeking her next charity, leaned over and set her cake back on the table. “My dear, if you are in any way in need,”
But I was saved having to answer such an observed question in a delicate way by Mrs. Smith laughing loudly, “If I had known that is all it takes to get rid of that priss, I’d have told my maid to start taking the tea out early years ago!”
Poor Mrs. Anderson, who had just moved to the area as a new bride, still sat staring blankly at her empty cup obviously unsure of what to do with it or herself.
“Now Mrs. Anderson,” Mrs. Smith called across the table as though she were on the other side of a foot ball field, what can you expect when the woman lives with her practically deaf mother? “You drink right up! No one is as well to do as Mrs. Gifford here. Not in the whole state!”
I’m afraid to say I began to blush, my husband’s wealth is something we try very hard not to broadcast, but Mrs. Smith’s husband is our accountant and a much less discreet person. I sputtered a few words trying to think of a way to go find out what Tabitha had done with the tea tray.
However that’s when Miss Talous added her sniff to the scene. “Well, I guess if you are unwilling to share with even your friends why should you be expected to share with those who are in need?” And with that she got up and left the room. It all went back to last month when she asked for a contribution and I had only promised to discuss it with my husband.
Mrs. Smith laughed again, “Two down! Now this is company.” She looked at poor Mrs. Anderson who seemed to be perpetually mute and frozen staring at an empty tea cup. “Now don’t believe a word of it my dear. That woman wouldn’t have one of her charities if it went for Mrs. Gifford’s anonymous donations.”
“Mrs. Smith that is enough!” It came out of my mouth before I could catch it but REALLY she was going to lose her husband a client if this kept up.
That’s when Mrs. Smith got up. “Well, it’s the truth and I won’t be chastised for telling the truth.” She turned and slipped profanities all the way down the hall.
I turned to my last and most important guest. She was not only new to the area but also married to a man that traveled much for his work leaving her alone months at a time. I had hoped to introduce her to her neighbors and the most inflental of women in the neighborhood. Now each had made something of a fool of themselves over a little bit of tea, how was she to trust them?
She still looked down at her tea cup as though it might hold the answers to the universes toughest questions. I leaned forward to touch her shoulder and make sure the scene hadn’t disturbed her too much when Mrs. Tallborn soared back into the room followed by Miss Talous and Mrs. Smith. They all stood indignantly at their tallest and Mrs. Tallborn spoke for them all. Mrs. Anderson would you kindly move your car so that we may all depart this unhospitible home?”
I looked up trying to think of a way to sooth feelings and still wondering what had gotten into Tabitha when the aged maid sontered back into the room carrying the roast beef I had intened for dinner along with several plate. “Here you are Mam.” She smiled as though doing exactly what she had been told. I made a mental note to have her see a doctor.
The three women looked at me dumb founded and I just looked back at them, as silent as our new friend. It didn’t take Mrs. Smith long to recover. “Why Anibell, why didn’t you say this was a luncheon!” She sat right down placing her discarded napkin right back over her ample lap. “It would have saved a whole lot of fuss.”
Mrs. Tallborn took one last sniff and sat down to murmuring something that sounded a bit like ‘
I’m terribly sorry.’
Miss. Talous hesitated a bit longer till I waved her with a smile back to the seat in which I had slipped, before the meeting began, a little envelope of money of her charity. She caught up the envelope and gave a wan smile of thanks.
“Ladies, I’m so,” I began only to be cut off.
“Now what must our Dear Mrs. Anderson think of us?! Here we come to show her what great friends we’ll be and instead we show ourselves to be petty little…” She paused and looked at the girl who seemed to prefer her empty tea cup to the roast beef. “My dear, can you ever forgive us?” She reached out a sympathetic hand and touched the girl’s shoulder.
The blond head jerked up with a snort. She blinked rapidly and looked slightly shocked, “I’m awake.” She looked down at the beef in confusion “Did I miss something?”

2011-08-25T19:28:00.000-07:00

LEt's see if this works.

And then it finally Happens!

2011-08-06T22:47:00.000-07:00

Our little Wren arrived after a month of being told "any minute". Yes, we were told she would probably come early... Nope. But she was worth the wait. She came out screaming but once the nurses handed her over she had nothing but beautiful smiles for us.
Big sisters got to hold her on the second day even though they were both sick. But they were so happy to see little Wren and hold her. (We knew it was a bacterial infection for both of them and not contagious.)

I have to share this picture. With each of our babies Yrgysh has held them on his chest like this early on. He decided that new borns were his little tree frogs so he had me make a froggy hat. So this is Daddy and his little tree frog.

An Expectant Mother's Rant

2011-07-08T09:14:00.000-07:00

Have you ever noticed
1) that when your due date aproches every little action is measured as to how it will encourage or discourage labor? (Not helpful)
2) that relaxation becomes esentail yet unatainable? (What's up with that? I'm seriously considering tylonol PM)
3) That the baby starts to try to get out on their own... unfortunatly it's though your rib cage? (I need to make a light and stick it down there to lead the way out... then she can enter and exit this existence by going down a tunnel toward a bright light.)
4) That it feels like someone has the gag button pressed? ("Labor's starting... no itisn't HA!" An hour later "This could be it... NOPE! I can't believe you fell for it again!")
5) That waiting for labor seems like a great test of your santity? (You must pass this if you're going to be worthy of raising this child.)
6) And finally... that while waiting your brain can come up with some of the stupidest things to do to 'prepare'? (Like chop your hair off, buy lots of stuff, watch old movies you can't stand anymore, watch bad humor in an effort to make yourself laugh, go on hikes, jump on trampolines (no I have not nor will ever jump on a trampoline while pregnant), clean the whole house.... again, and one of my favorites... allow some Dr. to stick their hands up inside of you to tell you how far along you are (not that it will change how long you have to wait) and possibly "help the processes along"? Are you nuts?! You want to do WHAT to my WHAT?!
I hope you've laughed. :)

Homeschooling Results: A view of Parental Involvement

2011-05-24T10:22:00.001-07:00

Abstract

This paper investigates the success rates of homeschooling as compared to public schooling. Many aspects are looked at such as academics, social and emotional skills, as well as adult outcomes in these and other areas. It then draws on the assumption that parent involvement is different in the two systems and looks at beliefs (e.g. motivation, knowledge, empowerment, and confidence) that would nurture or dissuade that involvement. By comparing public and home schooling, the paper attempts to demonstrate how parents within the public school system may become confused as to their responsibility and role. Conversely, the paper asserts that homeschooling, taken on for the right reasons, empowers parents with an awareness of their role and confidence within it. The paper then argues that if any parent takes the first step of accepting primary responsibility and explores their resources and options, they will then be empowered to work confidently within any educational system.

Keywords: Home school, homeschooling, public school, parental involvement, adult outcomes

Homeschooling Results: A View of Parental Involvement

It may seem strange to begin a paper on Homeschooling results with a statement about computers; but computer software is much like public schooling, homeschooling, and any other schooling choice. When purchasing a new computer, most consumers use the software immediately available, or the default software, with little or no thought as to the appropriateness of that application to their needs. And, while for the most part it works, there can be moments of frustration when the software doesn't provide the frame work for the needed task. In this country the educational default is the public school system. Anything outside of this framework is often viewed with suspicion or hostility. However, in order to understand if it is working well, the outputs must be compared to the outputs of other systems, and then examined again through differences to discover the "whys" behind those results.

In comparing the outputs of different educational options, I found that there were two extremes: public schooling and homeschooling. Private schooling outputs most frequently fell in between public and home schooling when included in a study. In this paper, I will discuss only the two extremes, leaving out the other options because comparing two extremes can demonstrate what is needed to succeed within any framework. Just as with software, if you understand the capabilities of the system and are aware of how it works, work within the one that is available with greater success simply or choose one that better fits your desired outputs.

While most people are acquainted with public school outputs as the "National Averages" most are unaware of what homeschooling outputs and averages are. Therefore, I will go into some detail as to the origins of homeschooling, how the students themselves are performing both in K-12 and afterward as they enter the "real world" as compared to their public schooled counter parts. Working under the assumption that parental involvement is the number one factor predicting schooling success, I will then look at beliefs (e.g. motivation, knowledge, empowerment, confidence) that would nurture or dissuade parental involvement within public and homeschooling. Last I will look at how this information can support the parent in making educated choices about their child's education and be involved at appropriate levels with the system chosen.

A Brief History

Although brief histories of homeschooling are given in most studies on the topic, Ed Collom (2005) gives the most succinct account in his paper "The Ins and Outs of Homeschooling." The following information is shown in Figure 1 (Ray, 2009). Collom points out, by the 1960s public school not only dominated the education scene but was also mandatory. In the late 1960s a small fringe movement began by a political left who believed in a different pedagogy than the traditional schooling system. In the 1980s an unprecedented boom shifted the demographics of this group to the right as Christians began spontaneously homeschooling in large numbers. As popularity grew and peer pressure subsided in the 1990s and 2000s, the movement went from fringe to main stream, growing from 300,000 families in 1990 to well over one million by 2005 (pp. 308-309). Current estimates put the number at almost two million (Ray, 2009).

Growth of Homeschooling in United States Over the Past 5 Decades

Figure 1. Homeschooling went from fringe movement to nearing two million in a little less than three decades. (Ray, 2009, p. 2)

No longer far left or far right the demographics of homeschooling are continuing to diversify including growing populations of minorities and religious groups across the board (Ray, 2009). In figure 2, we can see that the ethnic demographic are becoming more similar in proportion to the general student population.

Ethnicity of Homeschooled vs. All Students

Figure 2: The chart on the left represents the composition of the homeschooling community while the chart on the right represents all U.S. Students per Department of Education 2007 (Ray, 2009).

Along with growing numbers of homeschoolers came an increasing number of studies to determine effectiveness and reasoning for homeschooling. However, because homeschooling isn't institutionalized, it is very difficult to conduct generalizable studies. As Richard Medlin (2000) points out, there are many studies that are well planned, however a good number run into problems, like low response rates, which make it hard to generalize results of just one study. The one redeeming aspect is the sheer number of studies that have been conducted, each looking at different populations at similar questions and coming to similar conclusions. So while they can't be individually generalized as more studies present similar findings with different strengths it becomes more plausible. In the following section I will address several areas of homeschooling outcomes that have been more thoroughly covered.

Comparison of Home and Public Schooling

Academic Performance

K-12. One of the first areas of concern is the effects of homeschooling on academic achievement. At the grade-school level many tests have been performed in order to assess whether or not these students are getting the basics in academics. Although many doubt the ability of a non-trained mother or father to teach her children, there seems to be no connection between mother's who have been trained as teachers and the child's academic performance (Collom, 2005). Michael Apple (2007) suggests the reason for untrained parents' success is the widening range of resources available both on and off the internet. However, some difference has been found between the mother's and especially the father's educational level and the academic outcome (Collum, 2005) Even with higher achievement associated with parental education levels, homeschoolers as an entire group seem to be doing better academically. According to one study done by The National Center for Home Education Press, cited by Klicka (2006)

Nearly 80% of homeschooled children achieved individual scores above the national average and 54.7% of the 16,000 homeschoolers achieved individual scores in the top quarter of the population, more than double the number of conventional school students who score in the top quarter (p. 1).

Others studies have produced the range of results from 15 to 30 percentiles higher than public schools as shown in figure 2.(Ray, 2009). Even the study producing the lowest scores places homeschooled students about fifteen percentiles above the national average, making it clear that homeschoolers are having a greater level of academic success.

Summary of Several Studies on Homeschooling Academic Achievement

Figure 3.
High reports place homeschooling averages at 80^th percentile; low reports place them at the 65^th percentile; public school sets the average and is thus the 50^th percentile. (Ray, 2009, p. 2)

Perhaps even more significant than the level of academic achievement is the lack of racial and monetary bias in the academic success of homeschoolers. As shown earlier, the number of various ethnic groups choosing to home school is growing more proportionally equivalent to the national ratios. As shown by Collom (2005), within the homeschooling world the two major academic predictors (race and economic status) do not have a statistical impact (p. 329), showing that race and socioeconomic status are not factors in homeschooling achievement.

College Level. Another place to test academic achievement is in the college setting. Many ask how homeschooled students perform when outside of their home environment. Several different records show that homeschooled students scored higher than their counter parts on their college entrance exams (Klicka, 2006, p. 4). In a paper written to make suggestions about college admissions policies, Molly Duggan (2009) found that, at her University, students who had been previously homeschooled performed at one or two grade levels higher than their private and public schooled peers and were much more likely to have "A" averages than either their public or private schooled peers. Klicka (2006) cites studies and comments from several different colleges and Universities who have done studies on their own students stating that homeschoolers perform at or above the level of their peers. Thus indicating that the earlier academic success continues into the higher education levels.

Social and Emotional Skills

Social Skills. Besides academic skills, homeschoolers' social and emotional skills often come under scrutiny. Although many believe that public school can offer better socialization opportunities than homeschooling can (Medlin, 2000), research has found no evidence for such claims. Two results are typical for studies involving the social and emotional skills of homeschooled children as compared to public schooled children. As Medlin (2000) shows in his review of the literature covering homeschooled children's social skills, there are two typical results. One of the typical results finds no difference in social skills of homeschooled children. The other typical result finds that homeschoolers are likely to have better social skills than their peers. L.E. Shyers conducted one of the best designed studies on the social behaviors of homeschooled children in 1992. She concluded that homeschooled children compared to their public schooled peers of identical demographics showed similar self-confidence and assertiveness but were less likely to have behavioral problems, (as cited in Medlin, 2000 & Ray, 2004b). These results seem to indicate that homeschooling at the very least does not harm a child's socialization and at best gives them a social advantage.

Emotional Traits. Perhaps even more important than social skills, emotional skills are an essential part of growing up that many believe can best be developed through traditional schooling as children learn to cope with adverse situations. Although there are many aspects to emotional skills, I will only look at those that have been tested more frequently. Self-concept is one measure of emotional maturity that has been examined in several studies. According to Brian Ray (2004b) many of these studies have found that homeschoolers have a much better self-concept than do students from other systems. Other areas like self-esteem and confidence in their individuality are at least as good, and in some studies, higher than their peers' (Ray 2004b; Medilin 2000).

Adult Social Activity. Most of the aforementioned studies were done on children K-12 and leave the question of "How do these students integrate into society after leaving home?" In the few studies which have been conducted post-secondary, homeschoolers are found not only moving on with their lives in positive manners (e.g. careers, schooling etc.), but, as seen in table 1, more of them see themselves as happy in their lives than the general population of the same age group (Ray, 2004a).

Happy with Life Scale

	Home Educated n=5250	*U.S. n=522**
Very Happy	58.9	27.6
Pretty Happy	39.1	63
Not too Happy	2	9.4

Table 1.
Answers for two studies (one for home school graduates and the other for the general US population) compared indicating that homeschooled adults are happier with their life in general than the average population. (Ray, 2004a, p. 56)

Perhaps part of this "happiness" comes from the emotional stability discussed earlier and their social needs being met. Christopher J. Klicka (2006) cites several college administrators who report that homeschoolers are very active in their college community. Galloway conducted a study comparing home, private, and public schooled students at her college in 1998. She found that the homeschoolers were the leaders of the campus scoring substantially higher in four of her five chosen categories (academic, social, spiritual, psychomotor, and cognitive) except psychomotor (team sports) (as cited in Medlin, 2000).

Tolerance Attitudes. While it has been shown that homeschoolers function well within a given setting, there is still a concern that prejudice will result from receiving only skewed parental input. However, studies conducted at the college level, e.i. Marzluf (2009), have found that home school students are not only lacking in prejudice but also open to other ideas and people of different backgrounds, ideas, and opinions. Other studies agree with these findings (Ray, 2004b). Medlin (2000) suggests that perhaps this is the case because, in home schooling, the extracurricular activities are more varied than those of public school. While students going to school mostly have interactions with their peers, homeschooled students have interactions with every age group and many different ethnicities (Duggan, 2009; Medlin, 2000).

Civic Involvement

Community Service and Involvement. Most studies on social development looked at what activities these children were participating in, in order to determine their type and quality. They found that not only were these students getting in more extracurricular activities but these activities were also more varied (Medlin, 2000, pp. 111-112). The variation and scope of these activities results in the child's being exposed to a variety of ways to be involved with the community at a young age. It also exposes them to a variety of people. For example, Medlin (1998) conducted a study in which the homeschoolers kept track of the type of people they had contact with and closeness of those relationships. He found that they had moderately close relationships with people of differing age levels (the very elderly to the very young), ethnicities, and socioeconomic status (As cited in Medlin, 2000, p. 112).

As homeschoolers grow up they continue this involvement with the community. In figure 3 we can see two different measures of community involvement, ongoing community service and organization membership. When compared to the general population, home school graduates are substantially more involved (Ray,2009).

Community Service and Activity

Figure 4. Percent of involvment of homeschooled versus general adult population of simular age group. (Ray, 2009, p.6)

Political Involvement. Perhaps the most surprising part of community involvement is homeschoolers' involvement in the political process. Because the homeschooling movement has been forced into the political arena by its controversial nature, homeschooling families tend to be very politically active. Cooper and Sureau (2007) go so far as to compare the grassroots homeschooling movement to movements such as civil rights and trade Unions (p. 112) As shown in Figure 4, the children of these families continue to be active in the political process as adults, not only voting more consistently than the general population of the same age but also participating in various other ways and having a positive view of the political process (Ray, 2009 & Ray, 2004a). These findings support the idea that homeschooling does a better job at overcoming political apathy than traditional schooling.

Political Activity of Homeschooled vs. General Population

Figure 5. Left grouping shows activities such as writing, telephoning representatives, and other political actives. The right grouping shows voting. (Ray, 2009, p. 6)

Continuing Education

Percentages Advancing to Higher Education. Although we have looked at how homeschooled students perform in different areas in postsecondary schooling, we will now look at how many are actually taking advantage of it. In his state of the Union address, President Obama (2011) stated that almost half of the upcoming job in the next ten years will require some level of higher education. Therefore, the ability for an educational system to prepare and send its students on to post-secondary schooling is an important aspect of the nation's competitive edge, not to mention the individuals' ability to support themselves in a changing economy. In Table 2, Ray (2004a) shows that homeschooled students, ages 18-24, are more likely to have moved onto higher education than the general population of the same age. It should be noted here that 49% of the respondents of this study were currently full time students. If these students complete the degrees they are currently working on the percentage of degreed students would actually be higher.

Educational Attainment of Homeschooled and General Population ages 18-24.

Education Level	Home Schooled (%) n=4129	U.S. General (%) n=27,312,000**
Some college but no degree	50.2*	34
Associate's degree	8.7	4.1
Bachelor's degree	11.8	7.6
Graduate or professional but no degree	2.4	0
Master's degree	0.8	0.3
Doctorate degree (e.g., PhD, EdD)	0	0
Professional degree (e.g., M.D., JD)	0.2	0.05
Other***	25.8	53.8

Table 2. More previously homeschooled students were continuing on to higher education.

* 49% of these respondents were currently full time students.

**Source: United States Census Bureau, 2003a.
*** Other = That is, less than high school, high school graduate, voc/tech program but no degree, and voc/tech diploma after high school. (Ray, 2009, p. 37).

Attitudes and Policies of College Admissions. Because homeschoolers are now applying for colleges in sufficient number to catch the attention of administrators they are actively affecting the admissions policies (Duggan, 2009; Klicka, 2006; Ray, 2004b). Duggan (2009) found that homeschooled students had "higher levels of intent to persist, or had expressed intentions to return and continue, than either public or private schooled community college students, making them more attractive in retention rates as well as in overall performance. They are also more likely to have a bachelor's degree at a younger age than their peers and advance in their chosen fields more swiftly (Ray, 2004a; Ray, 2004b). Over the past decade many administrators and professors have changed their attitudes from highly negative to highly complimentary toward homeschoolers as they have come into contact with them, such as Marzluf (2009, see also Klicka, 2006). These attitudes reflect a growing awareness of students who are doing better at some level than mainstream students.

Although these are obviously not homeschooled super students, these children on average are doing better than their counter parts; so the question becomes, not "is homeschooling succeeding" but, as Medlin (2000) put it, "Why?" (p. 119). While the answer to this question is probably too complex to be treated in one paper, I will look at the one factor identified as the greatest predictor of schooling success across the board: parental involvement (Oyserman, Brickman, & Rhodes, 2007). Although the effects of parental involvement is generally understood, school systems have had little or no success in raising the amount of parental involvement (Oyserman et al., 2007, p. 480).

Parental Involvement

Green and Hoover-Dempsey (2007) compared public school parents who were considered to have high beliefs in parental involvement to homeschooling parents. She found the public school group to have much lower parental involvement beliefs than the home school group. Showing that not only are less parents likely to be involved in public school but those who are involved are likely to believe that less involvement is necessary than homeschooling parents. Thus, it would appear that there are under lying beliefs that affect the level of parental involvement. In the next section we will compare how the two options might affect parental involvement.

Motivation

Responsible Parties. While it is generally accepted that parents should be involved in their child's education, parents can receive conflicting messages as to who has which responsibility and how they, the parent, should help. One reading tutor with 25 year of experience stated that the biggest problem she had with getting parents involved was the perception that it wasn't their responsibility and thus "never had time" (personal communication, 2011, April 9) In many different areas the government and the school's responsibility for children's education is placed before the parent's. One area where the schools' and government's responsibility is projected over the parent's role is political policy. While comparing Individuals with Disabilities Act and No Child Left Behind Act (NCLB), Ramanathan (2008) demonstrates how programs and laws created to benefit children in public schools frequently become a debate over authority and control. This debate implies that the quality and the success of children's education is the responsibility of either the federal or state governments. The NCLB act also gives power of enforcement to several levels of government agencies but none to the parent (Ramanathan, 2008, p. 300). There are also teachers and administrators who come into blame if a school system is not doing well. As homeschooling results remain statistically equal throughout the states in spite of differing levels of government oversight and regulation (Ray, 2009, p. 4), it becomes apparent that the government does not have the effect on education that a parent would, and yet it is often the government that is depicted as making the decisions that count (Obamah, 2011; Bush, 2007; Clinton, 1997). This atmosphere seems to communicate to parents that someone other than themselves is responsible for the child's relative success or failure in various areas. When parents loose that sense of responsibility, they may never find the motivation to become involved.

Parental Responsibility. It could be said that parents who choose to homeschool are taking their responsibilities to the highest degree. However, Green and Hoover-Dempsey (2007) found there were two beliefs that motivated homeschooling: parent based, those who believe they are the best teachers for their children and capable of doing so; and partner based, those who are homeschooling because of a negative experience with public school but do not feel they are capable of being the best teachers and thus seek out help from other sources. In their comparison they found that parent based homeschoolers have more positive experiences with homeschooling than partner based homeschoolers. Those who believe they are responsible and capable of teaching their child are empowered and take the requirements with a better attitude, showing that parents who understand and embrace their responsibility are more likely to be involved at higher, more positive levels. This contrast, of parent versus partner based education, shows that when partner based attitudes prevail the parental involvement suffers, whether through inaction or through negative attitudes. Unfortunately, anything other than homeschooling is necessarily partner based and requires extra effort from the parent to maintain a parent based attitude.

Knowledge

Requirements on Parents. Once parents understand their responsibility they must still understand how to fulfill those obligations. Without understanding what is required of them, parents cannot act. According to Walker, Shenker, and Hoover- Dempsey (2010), parents in the public school system are most likely to participate after being invited by either a child or teacher, showing that even a parent who wants to act will not until they know exactly how. However, school systems can only ask and not require parents to act. One area this becomes evident is the research now being conducted to understand how parents have such a profoundly good effect so that the schools may provide that support for those who do not receive it at home (Walker, 2008; Oyserman et al., 2007). The school system, in an effort to take care of the children who need help, provides help for all the children. Or rather, because they cannot expect any support from some parents they cannot require it from any parent. And although these programs will likely help those who would not receive this help otherwise, there is a middle group who seeing the program will assume that it is the schools responsibility to provide that support and fail to understand their part. When teachers do send out requests for help, it often entails volunteering at school events. This may confuse the parents' obligation to child and obligation to the school until the parent believes that all that is required to be involved is to volunteer within the school community and make sure their child's home work is turned in on time. And while passive involvement is better than no involvement, it is not the best (Walker et al. 2010); however, it is often the clearest means of involvement.

Personal Investment. In contrast, within the homeschooling world requirements on all levels become clear as a parent must inform themselves and choose programs, activities, etc. As previously mentioned there are now many different materials available to homeschoolers (Apple, 2007), as well as many different types of homeschooling methods to choose from (Kjerstin, 2011). As one homeschooler put it, "The first two years were a huge learning curb." (personal communication, April 1, 2011). These parents often invest many hours researching and most understand that more is required of them than the typical parent (e.g. time, career advancement, extra income, etc. (Apple, 2007; Green and Hoover-Dempsey, 2007, p 266)). However, most do not see these requirements as sacrifices. For example, in discussing the difficulty of creating social opportunities for their children, Medlin (2000) points to several sources where parents have shown they don't find the exertion a burden (p. 4). Perhaps because they understand what is required they are able to fulfill with greater levels of confidence.

Confidence

Parental Effort Efficacy

Before participating in any activity most people need confidence that there is a point and that they can accomplish what they set out to do. Parents are less likely to become involved when they lack confidence in their efficacy (Green and Hoover-Dempsey, 2007, p. 266). One area parents are lead to lack confidence in their abilities is in the discussion of teacher certification. Apple (2007) gives voice to the fear of the untrained parent teaching their children. However, as stated earlier, homeschooling success shows no statistical difference for those who have teacher training and those who have none (Ray, 2009). And, although there has been shown a difference in homeschooling academic achievement for those children whose parents have lower educational levels (i.e. 88^th percentile with both parents having college degree down to 66^th percentile without either having degrees) those children are still performing better than the average school child (Ray, 2009, p. 3; Collom, 2005), and thus probably much better than children in the school system of similar demographics. Still, parents who believe that they would be less than helpful to their child have less confidence and thus fail to act simply because they feel there would be no point. This is perhaps most clear in the drop off of parent involvement in the teen years as subjects become less basic (as cited in Oyerserman et al, 2007, p. 480) showing that the more complex the issue the fewer parents, or children, believe in the parent's usefulness.

Empowerment through Choice In contrast to the parent who feels helpless to assist their child, the parent who chooses to home school does so because they believe in the system and, more importantly, themselves (Green and Hoover-Dempsey, 2007). This belief empowers the parent. One of the areas we discussed earlier is the homeschooling graduates' lack of apathy. This is may come from the culture which homeschooling creates. Instead of feeling relatively powerless in a convoluted system, homeschooling families impact legislation (Cooper and Sureau, 2007) and make choices within their familial circle without any red tape. Apple (2007) points out how mothers of homeschoolers feel empowered by this practice and their primary role in it. This feeling of empowerment is then communicated to the child who takes it into his or her life and helps them feel less apathetic and more confident in both his training and his ability to influence the world around them.

Confidence

Belief in Public School System. In the US, not only are individual parent's teaching efficacy brought into doubt but confidence in the public school system itself is in doubt across the nation. In spite of reports such as The National Center for Education Statistics "Outcomes of Learning" which demonstrated that the United States is at least average in comparison to other countries (2001), most of the media and political rubric insinuates or blatantly calls the public school system a failure (Obama, 2011; Rice, 2011; Bush, 2007; Clinton, 1997). As Ramanathan (2008) points out, this rubric also creates a political climate that stifles the effects of the programs themselves; instead of communicating progress, they foster the feeling that nothing is working. It then becomes difficult to work in system that neither the parent, nor the child, nor even the teacher believes in. It also becomes difficult for the student to have confidence in themselves when the means by which they were educated are reported to be substandard.

Two-Way Involvement. As opposed to confidence in a large system, homeschoolers need only have confidence in the child and the parents. A certain amount of confidence is gained as the parent involves themselves in the most recognized form of effective teaching, the one-on-one model. When admitting to the success of homeschooling, many point to fact that homeschooled students get one-on-one attention (Klicka, 2006). In most homeschooled families this effect is doubled as both parents become involved (Ray, 2004a). Although proper teaching is important and increases the parent's confidence, it is not the most important part of parental involvement. According to Walker, et al. (2010) the parent's most effective role isn't in the teaching it is in the example. Thus, parental involvement takes on many shapes, not because the parent is helping with the homework in more effective ways, but because the child sees priorities, skills, and education in action through their parents. Homeschooling provides more consistent opportunities for that modeling to take place. Hence parents who are politically involved produce children who are politically involved because the children are involved in the parent's life as well. This two-way involvement creates belief and confidence in each other.

The Choice of Education

As stated before, this paper is not intended to prove that homeschooling is the only way to have successful children. However, homeschooling does show that parental involvement can have improved efficacy. Every parent must make the choice as to the right educational option for their child. Most make this choice simply by default, setting themselves up for less active participation even before their child's education beings. Home schooled parents have shown that with proper motivation parents can gain the necessary knowledge to empower themselves. As they become empowered with this knowledge they will gain confidence leading to greater and more effective involvement in their child's education. Homeschooling is a choice that clears away the blurred line of who has what responsibility in educating the child, thus making research and gaining knowledge necessary to the parent. As this knowledge is gained the parent is then enabled to give the intricate support that the child needs to be successful in all areas of life. However, there are those who cannot make this decision for various reasons. These parents must look at other options. This is the first step to better involvement. As the parent actually looks at what is involved both on their part and the school's, they can better work within the system to give their child needed support. Because they made a conscious choice, their confidence in their power to make a difference will increase. Because they have done the research they will know what is required of them and if there are ways for them to go above and beyond that. Finally because their motives are based n their own responsibility, they will be the best teachers the child has no matter the system.

Conclusion

Now that homeschooling has been around long enough and in great enough numbers there is a growing set of data to look at concerning the outcomes of that system. Many of these studies have found that positive results come from this practice that are not being achieved to the same degree in our public schools. In areas such as academics, social skills, and community involvement, homeschooled children seem to have an advantage. Using the assumption that parental involvement is the best indicator of educational success, it becomes apparent that how to be involved as a parent is clearer in one system than the other. By looking at the rhetoric surrounding the public school system, I showed how parents can easily become confused as to their role or lose confidence in their ability to be involved in their child's education. On the other hand, homeschooling parents motivated by their sense of responsibility toward their child take the necessary first step by choosing to inform themselves. This then empowers the parents from the moment the choice is taken under consideration and gives them confidence as they discover what their role entails and how they can fulfill it. Therefore, just as a program is more useful to someone who knows how to use it, an educational system is more useful to those who know how to interact with it. Simply going with the default is not an option for the parent who wishes to provide their child with the best possible opportunities for success. Every parent needs to make a choice that will allow them the greatest amount of involvement and then continue to give it. As one mother said, "'It is my responsibility to see that they grow up to be conscientious, responsible and intelligent people. This is too important a job to be given to someone I don't even know' (Mayberry et al., 1995, p. 39)."(as cited in Medlin, 2000)

References

Apple, M. W. (2007). Who needs teacher education? Gender, technology, and the work of home schooling. Teacher Education Quarterly, 34(2), 111-130.

Bush, G. W. (2002, January 29). State of the union.

Cahill, K.R., Deater-Deckard, K., Pike, A., & Hughes, C. (2007). Theory of Mind, Self-worth and

the Mother–Child Relationship. Social Development, 16, 45-56.

Clinton, W. J. (1997, February 4). State of the Union.

Collom, E. (2005). The ins and outs of homeschooling: The determinants of parental motivations and student achievement. Education and Urban Society, 37(3), 307-335.

Cooper, B. S., & Sureau, J. (2007). The politics of homeschooling: New developments, new challenges. Educational Policy, 21(1), 110-131.

Duggan, M. H. (2010). Is all college preparation equal? pre-community college experiences of home-schooled, private-schooled, and public-schooled students. Community College Journal of Research and Practice, 34(1-2), 25-38.

Green, C. L., & Hoover- Dempsey, K. (2007). Why do parents homeschool? A systematic examination of parental involvement. Education and Urban Society, 39(2), 264-285.

Hollingshead, T (2011, January 13) Remarks from Condaleezza Rice's forum address. Brigham

Young University News. Retrieved from http://news.byu.edu/archive11-jan-condoleezzarice.aspx

Wittwer, K. (2011). Types of home schooling. [web page]. Retrieved (2011 , April 4)

from http://unconventionaled.webs.com/typesofhomeschool.htm.

Klicka, C. J. (2006, September 20) Homeschooled Students Excel in College. Retrieved from

http://www.hslda.org/docs/nche/000000/00000017.asp

Laible, D. J., & Carlo, G. (2004). The differential relations of maternal and paternal support and control to adolescent social competence, self-worth, and sympathy. Journal of Adolescent Research, 19(6), 759-782.

Marzluf, P. P. (2009). Writing home-schooled students into the academy. Composition Studies, 37(1), 49-66.

Medlin, R. G. (2000). Home schooling and the question of socialization. Peabody Journal of Education (0161956X), 75(1), 107-123.

Obama, B. (2011, January 25). State of the Union.

Oyserman, D., Brickman, D., & Rhodes, M. (2007). School success, possible selves, and parent school involvement. Family Relations, 56(5), 479-489. doi:10.1111/j.1741-3729.2007.00475.x

Ramanathan, A. K. (2008). Paved with good intentions: The federal role in the oversight and enforcement of the individuals with disabilities education act (IDEA) and the no child left behind act (NCLB). Teachers College Record, 110(2), 278-321.

Ray, B. D. (2004a). Home educated and now adults: Their community and civic involvement, views about homeschooling, and other traits, Salem, OR: National Home Education Research Institute.

Ray, B. D. (2004b). Homeschoolers on to college: What research shows us. Journal of College Admission, 5-11.

Ray, B. D., & 2National Home Education, R. I. (2009). Home education reason and research: Common questions and research-based answers about homeschooling National Home Education Research Institute.

National Center for Education Statistics. (2001). Outcomes of Learning. Office of Educational Research and Involvement.

Walker, J. M. T. (2008). Looking at teacher practices through the lens of parenting style. Journal of Experimental Education, 76(2), 218-240.

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The water hole!

2010-08-15T16:18:00.000-07:00

Just quick!
Memories of water holes.
I grew up on a mom and pop farm. Lots of FUN!
Including swimming in the pond in the back. Yep the same small pond we fished in. :) Two memories from that are: 1. looking up and seeing a water moccasin going back under the murky water (got out pretty fast!), and 2. using thick foam boards as boats to sail across.
Another place I loved to swim were the puddles in the drive way. I remember crawling along my belly and puddle hopping in my swim suit. Then standing up and looking down my front. The swim suit hadn't kept out the sludge...muddy all down!
But my favorite was watching Little Mrs Sunshine and my older brother taking running leaps at boards perched at the edge of two large puddles and going "surfing" across. I tried it for years but never managed their proficiency.

Fire!

2010-07-27T19:38:00.000-07:00

In Old West Ranch where we had thought about moving. Already 30 homes have been lost. I think they need our prayers.

Bugs

2010-07-19T12:27:00.000-07:00

Ok so I'm answering the slice of life post.
Bugs are my friends!
You would think I was brought up in a home of Budist monks... instead of a bunch of Southern (swat/splat/spray) women.
I wasn't always so merciful. But I prided myself on being able to kill without running or screaming. I'd just stomp them with no fear. Except spiders, I'd stomp them but the fear was the motivation.
I don't know when, but I realized most bugs aren't out to get me and suddenly I can't kill them without reason. And that reason has to be more than just inconvience.
Now there's two slightly horrifying stories to go with this.
One. I ws explaining my feelings to one of my friends one day and she looked down at the side walk at some ants that were crawling by and stomped and twisted. Then she looked at me very pleased with herself and said, "Guess I'm not to that level yet." LOL. She's a corker. But I feel bad that my comment cost those ants their lives. Oh my.
Then there was my husband. He's been having to deal with this and one day (I don't remember what kind of bug it was) but he thought it had somehow tried to hurt me. So his defence button was pushed. I caught it in a paper towel and asked him to take it outside. He carried it about three feet then "accidently dropped it", then thud/splat! "Woops". LOL, yeah right.
I don't tip toe over them, but I try not to hurt them if they don't hurt me first.
PS Mom, misquitos and black widdows are exceptions to thhis. I must protect my babies after all.

The Price of Imperfection

2010-07-15T07:33:00.000-07:00

I see you
Play peek-a-boo
Wondering what the world is made of.
How frustrating it is
That your arms and legs wont move
just the way you want them too.

I see you
Search the mirror each morning
for flaws and imperfections
How heart breaking it is
that your face isn't like
Those picturesque women
Everyone has come to expect

I see you
Complaining to your friends
Of aches and pains
And mysterious lumps
How sad it is
Your body is degrading
So early and so much

I would have chosen each chromosome
To make it perfect if I could
It never would have faded
It would have been immaculately beautiful
It would have learned so much more quickly

But all I could do
Was open up a door
And offer my body for yours

Not my best poetry ever, but this morning I'm sitting here hurting from having a lump removed. Then as I watch my daughter get frustrated that she can't lift herself up the way she wants to, I remembered being so hurt every time I looked in the mirror growing up. My body was too big, too pimply, to awkward.
Then I looked at my daughter and thought how perfect her body is. It isn't "perfect", in came from imperfection; but it was just the vessel she needed to come to this earth. I would have made it perfect if I could, but all I could do was invite her to come. I am grateful my mother invited me, I know I waited anxiously, this body is what I waited and hoped and dream of.
Then my thoughts turned to the Savior and the price He payed so that I could come down and have a body.
Well, lets just say, "You can color me grateful.", instead of frustrated.

What color is grateful anyway? Do you think it would go with my blue shirt?

Special

2010-07-13T12:58:00.000-07:00

Looking around this blog and my facebook, you wouldn't think there was anything special about me or the way I live my life.
I offer no instructions on how to do this or that.
I offer no intimate look at my life or that of my children.
I offer no insight into a topic of importance or even interest.
I can't even claim consistence in what and when I post.
So, why are you reading this?
LOL!
Because you're my friend or family and chances are, you haven't checked this sight in a few months.
Oh dear, do you ever wonder why we do the things we do?

Just found this and it made me so happy!

2010-07-10T20:01:00.000-07:00

Taken while up in the bay area.

Planets and Stars...Holy Cow

2010-06-30T12:08:00.000-07:00

I knew there were bigger things out there... But as I watched I thought... where does it end? NOW I feel like a spec.
http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=BS88G5WBcfQ
And I thoung Chicago was forever away.

How's this for a book? Would you keep reading? lol

2010-06-29T11:19:00.000-07:00

Searching for My Soul Mate

Prolog
“No matter what, I will find you!” says mullet sporting, shiny teeth, singer acting out a scene from pre-earth life. “And I’ll be waiting. I promise!” responds gorgeous actress. Twenty minutes and several songs later they meet. They recognize. They sing. Soul mates. Romantic right?
So maybe I was naive. Maybe I was this overly boy crazy, romantic, dreamer that couldn’t get it out of her head that maybe, just maybe, there was a guy somewhere out there who had promised to find me, little mousey brown haired me, and who would remember his love for me the moment we met.
Ok, you can pull yourself up off the floor now. It’s been a long hard road and believe me, my ideas have been taken to the revision table more times than I like to remember.
But here’s the thing. It’s my story and, whether you believe it or not, this is the way it happened.

Chapter One
How I knew he existed
I had probably done it that morning. Please, don’t laugh. It was a ritual. When the danilions turned to thistle down and those large puff balls of mystery and power started to take flight amongst the pine woods of southeast texas, I found my bit of magic. Running about a field of them I plucked stem after stem and taking large breaths, made a statment and tried to blow all of the seeds off. If I got them all in one breath the statement was true. If not, well then not. Kind of like one of those bowling balls with the phrases dice suspended in blue water. Yeah, only with nature so it had to be more valid right?
Anyway, my favorite wish? “I will meet my true love at church this week.”
I was going to marry someone who believed the same things I did. I felt too strongly about it to even consider anything else, yes even at fourteen, which is where this story begins. So, the best place to meet my soul mate would be at church. One never knew when one’s soul mate might show up. My older sister’s had shown up when she was fifteen, my other sister when she was eight. Mine was due any time!
Though, as it turns out, this wasn’t just any day. Today I was visiting my sister and going with her to her parish.
The chapel doors seemed to say to me, “Hush be still” I shook under their gaze. This meeting house was dark compared to the one I usually attended. Parishioners chatted easily, and I listened. I’m a good listener, mostly because I’m too scared to say anything.

Has it been so long?!

2010-06-26T22:19:00.001-07:00

I'm sure I have a ton to blog. I think if uploading pics and movies didn't take so long I'd do it more.
Here's what we've been up to ...basicly. We run here. We run there. And in the middle of it all we sit still and watch our little ones grow. Little mE is on the verge of full fledged crawling! Little T can count to twelve and recognize all her color words. Yrgysh is about to present at a conference some work he's been prefecting for about a yyear... maybe more. And I am still trying to figure out where I fit in the publishing world... if at all :) Here's the last one.. this is how we got friction burns on Little T's ribbs... but she LOVES it!

Death of a child

2010-05-13T09:15:00.000-07:00

Where did the laughter go,
The romping and the play?
Where fled the soulful eyes
Filled with over awed gaze?
How could this place be empty
How could you be buried
In cold unpenaturable chrysalis of age?

Can you find the hidden message?

2010-04-27T12:48:00.000-07:00

Marraige 7:1

2010-04-01T11:54:00.000-07:00

While talking to my sister the other day, the question of “what makes a healthy relationship?” came up. We discussed it a little but I was left feeling unsatisfied. I pondered some more. Then I remembered two things. One, we won’t get to be prefect in this life therefore our relationships will probably never be 100% perfect or “healthy”.
Two was the 7:1 ratio. They used to think it was 3:1 but after more research they found it was high than they first guessed.
In marriage prep class, I learned about research that had been being conducted for several years (over 30) by a leader in the field of “healthy relationships”. He wanted to know what were the indicators of whether or not a couple would stay together and consider themselves happy in their marriages. So he set up these get away houses where couples would come to stay for free and he could observe them. Then he did follow up and questionnaires ect. But they found there was only one thing they could find that was consistent among the couples that stayed together and were happy. It was the 7:1 ratio. For every one negative thing said, they also had 7 positive things.
http://www.gottman.com/ This is the researcher/institution conducting the research.
The moral I took away was… if it’s bothering you, get it off your chest. If you need to scream and yell, scream and yell. But make sure you give seven times the love and kindness. Always make sure the positive you say to your spouse out ways the negative excessively!
This is why I know my marriage has problems but I’m not worried about it. We’re working on it, but mainly we say more positive things and loving things than negative ones. Yrygsh actually has me beat on this. I am more critical of him than he has ever been of me. I have blossomed into a woman I never thought I could be under his praise and gentle encouragement. I need to learn to do the same for him.
There’s my two cents.
Mahaw!

Oppinions needed

2010-03-23T14:22:00.000-07:00

I was told this is too harsh... what do you think?

Once upon a time there were two sisters.
Both were beautiful and courageous.

Both loved one man.

Now you say this is a recipe for a mess, and it was.
The man loved both equally for they were very alike in many ways.
Then came the summons of the King. All able bodied men should go to war.
The two sisters watched as he packed his bags, crying and wondering if they should ever see him again. He asked them to write and both promised they would. He walked into the sunset.
The one turned to the other and said, “I cannot see him go and sit here and wait.” She gathered a few things and followed him to war.
Days, weeks, months, and years passed.
The war was hard.
The sister fought with valor. She became as strong as any man. She wielded her sword with skill. At first she fought with the man and shielded his back from brutal blows. Soon she became so valued that she moved always up the ranks.

The other sister stayed at home. Every week he received a letter telling him of the seasons and what was happening in their sleepy town. Every week he knew her prayers were uplifting him from afar.

At long last the war was over. The three met again upon the hill. Two were strong and bold. One was delicate and innocent.
The war worn sister prepared herself to receive her husband but found her sister received the prize.
Angry she approached her sister. “He is a fool and swayed only by his eyes. He does not realize that I am his equal, or perhaps he is afraid because I am.”
The softer sister shook her head and calmly said, “It is not weakness he seeks in me. For which is harder? To go to war and always have something to do and fight for, or to sit at home and wait without becoming bitter, and hard; or afraid, and clingy; or domineering and independent? I have fought a war, but I did not try to fight his for him. I fought the war to maintain a place of peace for him.”

So I had it all wrong...

2010-03-13T10:30:00.000-08:00

Back in the day I learned about subconscious, conscious, and... that other one that's the deepest. And I thought I had a pretty good grasp on it. Your subconscious was created in the past(like childhood) and is the filter through which you interpret the world. So being formed at a very young unwise age it's prone to flaws of enormous consequences! Like someone abuses you and now for the rest of your life you think you are a bad person. Well, that's stupid but that's how it works.
Here's where I was wrong though.
I was taught, or I though I was. That in order to over come that, you have to remember the triggering events and learn to think about them differently. This can be a very painful and difficult processes because more than one event almost always formed the subconscious result.
Ok, but what if it's not that way? What if they're going the long way around a problem?
I recently had brain circuitry explained.
What causes subconscious thought? It's not what you learned as a child, that's just true through default. The subconscious is your auto pilot. It's the quickest most efficient way to get the result you want. Meaning your brain wants to do things in an efficient manner so it build circuitry and then uses and reuses it because it is easiest to use.
You were abused so you thought you were a bad person. You were abused again, that circuitry is already there so it is used again making them stronger connections instead of trying to create new ones. By the time you're an adult anything bad that happens to you get sent through that filter because it's so well built up.
So do you have to go back and look at each of those events to over come it?
NO!
You don't have to remember a single event. If you do then you can face it and deal with it but you don't HAVE to.
The key is to build new brain circuitry which them allows the old circuits to shrink and you've literally built a new subconscious! A filter of your older(hopefully more wise) self to use on auto pilot! It just makes me happy. I'm no long a prisoner of the past. I can choose how I see things in the future and I don't have to carry around baggage, mine or any ancestor's.
How do you do it? I'm sure that parts the most complexly simple part of all. Of course it starts with realizing your thinking is wrong and getting a good look at what you would prefer it to be. Most people do it with self talk. And I know that's part of it. A great deal of it is to be aware of what you're thinking and not letting auto pilot take over. Choose what you think and fight false thoughts with statements of truth. I strongly believe it involves kicking those spirits(those who know this is one of your thought pattern and like to whisper you thoughts that get you started down that path) out of your life. Another part of it is just practise. It took time to build those circuits it will take repetition to get out of them. The main thing is not to run from wrong thoughts but to face them and say "You are wrong. This is what is right." Then replace.
This concept I wish I could share with the world. I gives the power back to me. And doesn't make me feel overwhelmed by trying day in and day out fighting something that seems impossibly to fight. I've already come so far and I didn't know I was doing it.
Growing up and in college I believed there was something wrong with me. I did everything wrong and I was unworthy because there was something wrong with me. I don't believe that any more. It amazes me I ever listened to the blatant lie. And the stupid choices I made because I believed it. But it doesn't matter anymore because I don't believe it anymore. Yet at one time I did. It controlled my whole world. Good and bad choices were made because of that one belief. How did it change? I married a righteous husband and had children. Somewhere in my mind that didn't fit with the theory. So I had to replace it. Any time it would come up I would have to say, "how can that be? It can't be. I'm a good person. And I have everything I need to make it through this life or I wouldn't have come this far." Now I know how it works I can choose how I want to respond ... oh so freeing!
This is freedom, to know you have a choice and to make it!

As Sister in Zion (Happy Valentine’s Day)

2010-02-16T10:40:00.000-08:00

Growing up Valentine’s day was all about boys and being in love and getting and giving gifts that included roses and chocolates etc. Usually there was a box of those little hearts with saying on them. I would shake the box and say, pulling one out. “This is what my true love is thinking about me right now.” It’s amazing what Joel thought about me when we hadn’t even met. LOL!
Then I hit the “Singles awareness day” phase. When the thought of Valentine’s day struck fear into my heart, and everything felt a little more depressing, another year without the roses or the chocolates, or even a boyfriend to forget.
Then I got married and guess what, no roses or chocolates. We didn’t forget. He looked at me with a twinkle in his eye as Little T crawled into our bed and said “Happy Valentines day.” I responded in kind and that was enough.
But something happened that reminded me of every good Valentines day I’ve ever had. I said something stupid in Relief Society. You know, one of those statements that if taken wrong can make a lot of people think there are bigger problems than there are. Yeah. I’m brilliant. But then something wonderful happened. At least three sisters made sure to not let the day go by without offering some sort of support. I know I could have been offended or thought how insincere they were for only making this show when they thought something was wrong. But it touched my heart so deeply that they would come running to my aid. That if the problem was there they would run to help, it took my breath away. IT also amazed me that I could feel so loved when in actuality it was the Savoir they were loving. They felt prompted and were so anxious to be His servant that they heard and headed that prompting quickly.
Then Little T’s adopted Grandma came and helped us make sugar cookies and we had a little chocolate, she’s so much fun.
So, as I Was sitting there that night thinking over the events of the day, I took the time to go further back and think of all the good Valentine’s Days I’ve had. And you know what? None of them have involved roses or chocolates etc. Some have included cupcakes and sugar cookies. But they have always been the product of the sisterly love shared between me and my sisters (whether adopted, through relief society, or my own wonderful sisters) IT is amazing the love and that you can partake of without a man in your life. And it’s amazing how that love is continued to be needful when that man has come.
I hope if I miss hear or hear aright , that I go running to let my sister know she’s loved!

I think this is it....

2010-02-06T20:48:00.000-08:00

This one is almost too small for her. But she likes the ABCs. I love this one because esentially it's just a square peice of fabric. (A stained one at that but Little T loved the bears. It's still a little big but it will last her for awhile.) I even did decorative stitching(that was the thing that took the longest!)

Last nigh T and Yrgysh played dress up.

Once upon a time An evil spell was cast upon a good fairy. Under the evil spell she atacked the good Prince.

The battle was long and firce! But at last, as the Prince concered the evil spell was broken and the good fairy was released.

And to celebrate the good fairy invited thw handsome Prince to a ball. And they danced the night away.
(Insert video of them dancing...stupid wouldn't upload...am too tired to keep trying)

Adjustment of plans...

2010-02-05T13:31:00.000-08:00

Well. After some thought (and a little pulling out of my hair)Yrygsh and I realized that we had already made the gluten adjust last year. It's taken a year to both be ok with it as a permanant situation and to learn how to work with the replacement foods. So one down, YAY!
So in light of that information we decided to take the next adjustments just as slow. This coming year we will edit out sugar replacing it with agave. In the years to come we will furthure the adjustment but one thing at a time.
Adding to my stress I got to wondering why Tori was always wearing PJs around after I cleaned her drawers out of the 24 mth stuff with each laundry load. That's when I realized shhe had only one shirt.
So I made these two thing (plus one that came out too small.
The first is a play dress because pants and potty training don't always go together.

The second was made out of a night gown the mom got from the thrift store while she was here. Remember mom? So all the hard parts were already done... it's kind of hodgpog but they are play cloths so I don't mind.

Then ofcourse there's little mE's first date with Tal(only a little more than a week younger).

And last but nit least is me making use of the sling on a particularly clingy evening.

Dietary Changes!!

2010-02-02T16:16:00.000-08:00

I just got tired. Tired of wondering "Are these things really bad for my children?" "Why are we always coming down with just a little bit of something?" "Is my diet to blame for why I'm tired?"... so instead of wondering I'm just changing... I'm sure it will take time but here goes.
The things being "edited"
corn
gluten
dairy (except yogurt unless Tex says that purity 12 can replace yogurt for enzyms.)
sugar
all but a little red meat.

Now before you all freak here's what I'm replacing it with.
whole grains quinoa,millet,brown rice, tapicoa, arrowroot, buckwheat
legums (this means thinking ahead unfortunatly but hopefully will reduce the cost for other areas.)
more calcium rich veggies
agave and honey (this means cutting back on sweet but at least not getting rid of it.)

I will be shooting to make it as cheep and easy as I can but.... I'll have to see how it goes..if youlike I can post.
If you want me to shut up I can do that too:)
I also know I need to spend atleast 30 min a day outside no matter the weathure (blizzards excepted) but that might wait till we've got the diet on tract.
what do yall think? Any suggestions?
I just made my first cookies..they might just be crumbs lol

Disclaimer... this is not a true story :)

2010-01-29T10:40:00.000-08:00

It may seem strange to you but when you grow up that way it never occurs to you to mention it. You just assume that’s how it is in every family.
Dad would come home from work kiss us all and then take the littlest one from mom. She would give him an extra long kiss and whisper “Till we meet again.” Turn and walk out the sliding glass door. At some point each of us children tried to go with her or repeated her words to Dad. He didn’t think it was very funny or amusing. Which should have struck us as odd since he thought everything we did was amusing.
Then we would play with Dad for hours until mom came back in laughing and hugging us all with such tender exuberant kisses that we often squirmed in her arms.
Like I said, it never seemed strange to us. But one night, when I hit my quiet aloof stage, I watched mom leave. There were five of us by then and I guess I can thank my little brothers for distracting dad so he didn’t notice that I wasn’t with them in the family room.
She didn’t look back she just walked through the glass door and out onto the patio. It occurred to me for the first time that there was no way off the patio. So I followed aware of the tumultuous noise coming from behind me. She bowed her head and took a step toward the far end. At first I wondered why she was moving so slowly. But then I realized that she was much smaller. With every step grew inches shorter till at last she stood at the edge of the railing only inches high in a small leafy green dress. She looked quickly around and then I saw two misty wings spread out and she flew away into the foliage that surrounded our house.
My mom was a fairy.

Learning to keep my hands off.

2010-01-28T16:39:00.000-08:00

When I wasyoung my mother pinched my pimples. Now I wouldn’t say this was uncommon. But, like others I know I became obsessive comulsivve about popping the little mounds of evil. Not only do I feel the need to pinch my own but I can’t keep my hands off my husband’s zits either. This has caused problems in our marriage. Woops. But he’s forgiving.
Now my little girls have those little white bumps that look like pimples but are really immature glands and if you pinch them it can leave scarring as well as damage the gland permanently. So no pinching, right? Right.
What about scratching?
I caught myself scratching at the glands to help the process along. At the same time I realized how much I was trying to “fix” my husband’s faults and I couldn’t help noticing and trying to quickly correct my daughter’s developmental ‘delays’.
I’m pinching them… not their faces.
And we all know what happens. You this you get the head out but you cause more damage underneath. That gave me pause to think…What would it hurt to let things take care of themselves? What damage was a causing by constantly picking and pinching?
Like the real habit the metaphorical habit is taking time and conscious effort to overcome but I think it’s working. Awake
Now if only I could keep my finger nails off my own face.

Another one of my wierd ones....

2010-01-23T15:03:00.001-08:00

Sunrise filled Amy’s eyes with a warm glow. She thought of oranges, oranges and bacon, oranges bacon and…
“Are you ever getting up?”
Amy groaned and rolled over. Why did the universe permit siblings?
“I’m going to pee on you.” Especially younger brothers.
“Eww! Get away!”
“Mom said you have to take me to the bathrooms and I’m sick of waiting.”
Amy rubbed her eyes. They felt much better closed than they did open. “Aren’t you old enough to pee without someone holding your hand?”
“Yes, but I don’t want to have to deal with mom flipping out when I come back to camp without you. “ He folded his arms and smiled. “You should thank me. I’m saving you from getting chewed out too.”
“Thanks.” By now Amy had donned her flip flops, a robe, and her glasses. The restrooms were set up two camps over. All she had to do was step carefully and they’d make it with no problem.
Sam pushed the tent flap aside and Amy drew in her breath.
Earth still seemed so far away. Grey dust hovered from the motion of the tent flap but other than that everything was still. Amy’s hand went to her breathing collar instinctively. You could see how little air there was up here. The glasses even increased the clarity.
“Are you going to sit here goggling all day? I really got to go.”
Amy smiled at her brother. “I’ll beat you.”
“Whatev…” But Amy was already bouncing off. Sam tried to keep up but the ballet she had taken a year ago on earth had prepared her for the rythmn of the long steps unlike Sam’s track. The only thing her parents had done to prepare her for this place. The feel of almost weightlessness reminded her of the day before they had told them. She had finished first in a dance competition. Then that morning, the last time she had ever tasted fresh oranges and bacon, Dad told them that their family had been chosen to colonize. The moon soil came up beneath her like an unwanted shock of reality.
Sam had fallen, at least twice. He was covered in dust. Mom would be pissed. Amy laughed. “Oh well at least she wont be the only one.”
“Hey cute dog you got there.”
Amy turned around and saw an overly tall teen with white blond hair and dark green eyes. You wouldn’t think she’d notice his eye color that fast but when everyone you’ve seen for the last year has on visors you notice the eyes. Not to mention the way they seemed to glow in the unadulterated sun light. He smiled at her. She smiled back. She had heard of contacts that the scientists had been working on to replace the glasses, but she had expected them to be black or something. More freakiness to this freaky world. “Hi. I'm Amy.” He nodded. “I don’t think I’ve seen you in camp before.”
He shook his head. “Not in this one.” His smile grew a little more as he watched Sam stumble once more, the anger clearly increasing his clumsiness. “When I saw you running I thought perhaps I had seen you before, but I see you are one of them.”
“One of who?” Amy wondered if he might be older than he looked and was part of the science clan. “I’m from clan C.”
“Then you are one of them.” His face fell a little. “Well you are very elegant anyway. You would make a nice pet.” Amy stepped back awkwardly almost losing her balance. “Yes, come puppy.” He grabbed her arm gently. “I will not hurt you.” She felt herself relaxing. “There are too many dogs from earth. But you I will keep.” The world began to go black. “I will take you to home before we get rid of the rest.” His voice echoed as she fell.
Amy’s arm flung out with a jerk. She felt like she had just fallen a great distance.
The white sheets beneath her rustled as she turned over. She shook off the weird feeling the dream had left behind. You would think that winning a ballet contest would produce something happier. She could smell the bacon down stairs. She scrambled to throw on her robe. Then she heard her father’s voice.
“Hurry up kids. Your mother and I have something extremely important to tell you.”

Just randome photos I wanted to share...

2010-01-21T17:04:00.000-08:00

Little mE already has her Daddy's number... lol We took Little Wiggly to see the Salt Lake temple because she was so excited to see pictures. It was so cold we spent most of our time inside the visitors center. Our sister-in-law took this picture for us. (Thank you :)

Starting the tradition of reading together early.

Here's little Wiggly enjoying her books and asking Mommy to read. (All our book shelves are made up of packing boxs... )

Little mE snuggled down into the sling same Sister-in-laaw made for us. (She's begining to like it more... espeshally if she's ready to pass out. :)

Blessing Day

2010-01-21T16:49:00.001-08:00

It was my little one's special day. I spent a little over a month make the dress while I was pregnant with her. And we're so glad we didn't wait till the middle of March as she barly fits it now. Daddy loves his little girl.
Moomy and Daddy love their little girl.
Modeling

Yrgysh's whole imdiate family was there.

We did it in the chaple at night and the kids where hard to rein in as they never get to run around the chaple normally.

Also our good friends from Logan were there.

I'm so glad our little mE has joined us!

Just something

2010-01-20T16:17:00.000-08:00

Sweet and moist the air swept gently across the mountains. Wispy white clouds raced about as heavy dark billows lumbered methodically through the narrow passes.
We knew there would be a storm that night but to watch it make its’ way toward you was a new a disconcerting experience. The woodlands had been my home since birth. There you might hear a distant rumble shortly before the storm but mostly it came upon you with all the stealth of an eagle swooping down from the vast blue to capture the unsuspecting rabbit.
Here we sat, our first night in this vast barren waste and we could see the storm coming. Miles and miles away, it crawled and loomed ever nearer, like a snake seeking to mesmerize its’ pray by sheer admiration of its’ deadly coils.

Ten things that make me Happy...

2010-01-20T13:15:00.001-08:00

As I was invited to do so I shall.

1: Looking at my daughters. Seriously just looking at them makes me happy.
2: Knowing someone I love is progressing in a happy direction. You have no idea how that makes me wantto sing and dance.
3: Roses.
4: Beauty. Anything that is pretty or beautiful... espeshally those that make my heart acke.
5: When my husband smiles or laughs. It's espeshally happy making if it's because of something I said or did.
6: Trees... oh how I miss them. Their voices so long quiet in my head. I love to hear the trees talk.
7: Some one who "gets it". Anytime I find that someone understands even a part of what I'm thinking and gets it is so wonderufl.
8: Dancing... singing. It can sound horrid and look unbalanced but singing and dancing are the only way to express it.
9:When the words fall together. To capture anything with symbols of black and white in a way that you can't help but see, smell, or feel it.
10: Those moments when the spirit whispers to my heart and mind and for that second everything makes sense and I know...
I made it! I think I needed that today.

Somedays Merrit Dumbo

2010-01-08T21:33:00.000-08:00

Today was Yrysh's day off.
But it wasn't mine and he had to fill out a lot of paper work.
Poor Little T watched both of us working on our computers all day. She could have made it difficult...
But instead she was great. She even kept her panties dry except twice. She ate most of everything I put in front of her and not one fit all day. She even spent a whole hour playing tea with little mE.

So tonight she watched Dumbo... she's so easy on us...

The Last Great Adventure, thougts and realizations.

2010-01-04T14:04:00.001-08:00

Death. What could be more natural? No one asks that immortal question “Why?” of birth. Yet no event is more prone to cause pain and suffering, no occasion is more dreaded, and besides birth nothing is more avoided and more control sought over. Yet, our control is only illusionary. In the end we are in no more control than we are of the wind. You do not overcome death or birth… you merely pass through them.

When I was young I remember crying one day. Crying at the thought of one of my family dyeing. I just knew it could not be. So, I volunteered to go instead because I knew that staying behind would be the hard part, then I could be the one to greet the others. Year after year passed and I didn’t die but a few distant relatives did. I never took their deaths badly because I saw it as a release from pain they had been suffering from. And I began to think death just didn’t bother me as much as I thought it would. Still, I expected to die young.

Then I got married and I knew new fear. Would I die before he got to serve a mission? I know… it sounds funny but I feared that I wouldn’t get to go with him. Yet I prepared myself and him for me to die at a young age. I had volunteered and I had no desire to live without him, even if death didn’t bother me that much.

Then I watched my father die. Yet, I wasn’t there the day he passed. I can still remember packing after recieving the phone call that he had passed and doing math just to prove to myself I wasn’t supposed to be there. I remember exactly where I was and what I was reading on the drive there when I knew that the Lord could still raise him and he could be alive and well when I got back to the house. I remember walking into a shockingly empty room and realized that the body had already been taken. And I had never said goodbye. I never wanted to say goodbye. Oh the shock… no Dad sitting up healthy and eating those stupid peanut butter and jelly with grilled and buttered bread… no, just grief. And dispight the moments when I feel him near, I miss him.

Now I look at my daughters and for the first time I fear dyeing. I fear my husband’s death even more. How could they at such a young tender age go through the death of a parent. I am petrified of them dieing. But how could I stand to be on the other side of the vale and not be able to hold them and comfort them and… I need to live for them. I need him to live for us… for I could never provide what he can.

So here I am… having changed my mind. And yet still as vonerable as ever. Should it be me or should it be them… so natural and yet… though my father is not gone… I fear going through another death. Yet I cannot avoid it, for life is only a point between two places and both must be passed in order for any of this to make sense.
I used to laugh at the bad guys and the foolish plot lines where the goal is to live forever. “Don’t they know that the only way to live forever is to die?” But in the end I am as bad as they are. For the only reason they fear death is the same reason I do… we fear losing that which we love the most….

Perhapse I should love God more. Then the going will be as joyful as the coming,

Then I shall never lose what I love the most...
and like my fahter I will be able to bless those I love no matter what side of the veil I stand on.

Promissed post...

2009-12-31T10:42:00.001-08:00

We said "See you later" to Grandmommy a few days before Christmas...

Of course Little T tried to pretend to be Grandmommy's lugage and go with her... it didn't work.
We miss her :(

A day later Grandma J and Grandpa J came... Little T had lots of fun and Little mE got held to her heart's content... of course she still had gas and so Yrgysh and Grandpa J gave her a blessing... she's doing great now. :)

Opah came too and lightened everyone's days. He's got such a great sense of humor. :)

Little mE got dressed up...

And so did Little T...

You's think we had a house full of Christmas Princesses!
This was a great moment!

You know life is going to be interesting when...

2009-12-28T16:13:00.000-08:00

Your daughter dresses up in a tinker bell outfit and then grabs a purse exclaiming "CAR!" and runs to fill her purse with hot wheels.
Your daughter is in the middle of throwing a fit and stops suddenly exclaiming "PLANE!" because she can hear one flying over.
Your daughter realizes the baby is missing and comes to feel your tummy... it came out of there it must be able to go back.

Just a few of the interest moments we've had today... do you think she's a engineer's daughter?

Did I mention that you can't get her atention at all if she's trying to figure something out?

MERRY CHRISTMAS

2009-12-24T18:03:00.001-08:00

And a Happy New Year!

Time Time, Who's got the time?

2009-12-15T10:02:00.000-08:00

Often in talking to friends and family, I hear the complaint that there just isn't enough time.
Ushually I'm on the opposit side where I keep my schedule so free that I have to come up with projects just to feel productive. I do it on purpose because I want to be free for the most part to drop everything and do something more important if I should deem it so.

But this week I find myself with a problem. I've come up with projects (Christmas present and decorations) but I find my hands free only so often (a new baby seems to need lots of mommy holding time and the toddler seems to require what's left.).
Still I was progressing and I knew I'd atleast finish the presents in time for Christmas.... Then this morning I have felt like perhapse there is something more I should be doing....Something I can't seem to figure out ... because my mind keeps saying "Where is there time for anything else? Have you seen the kitchen? The laundry reallyy needs to be folded. You've been selfish this year and now you only have a week or so till you need to have all your ggifts ready..." and on and on.

I have the time... I just can't tell where to spend it, or how...
Presdent Uctdorph said that if I can be motivated by love of God and my fellow men everything else will work out.

So my Christmas goal is to figure out... how I can best show my love for God and His children.

Wish me luck. :)

Can I forget?

2009-12-09T15:06:00.000-08:00

I wrote a poem... it vanished... ERG!

Little mE has arrived!

2009-12-01T15:07:00.000-08:00

She showed up very quickly Last Sunday morning. It was a good thing we planned to have her at home as I don't know if we would have made it to the hospital. That being said I think I'd prefer a little bit of a slower labor... talk about taking your breath away.

This is my midwife and her asistent. They did get there in time and were wonderfully helpful.
After the birth my blood presure wouldn't come up so I was pale and consind to laying down....Didn't stop me from getting my snuggles in.

Here Yrgysh is still wet from the birthing tub. Little T looks shell shocked in all the pictures but she was running around laughing and saying "baby!". In this picture she had grabbed her baby (a stuffed dog) to mimick the real baby.

She is lovely though and already to joy to us all. Little T adores her (so long as she doesn't take her spot.) And Yrgysh spend several minutes dayly just staring contentedly at her.

Two things

2009-12-01T15:05:00.000-08:00

One I'm trying to add links to my page so please send me your blog adress so I can add it.
Two: Any sujestions on how to custamize my back ground?

The men in her life...

2009-09-02T14:50:00.000-07:00

There are three men in my life. Fathers, Noble Priesthood bearers true.
Once they held me in a circle and blessed my life with Heaven's view.

Now daily I know my needs are provided for.

Through faith and example they teach me just what to do...

Here's a few things they taught me that I can say are true.

Don't hide in your shell... smile at the world!

Take a joke and make a joke ... but keep on laughing no matter how old.

Stand in Holy places for the closer you are to the Temple, the closer you are to Home.

Dance through life with the ones you love because dancing solo is no fun... no matter how much attention you get.

There is beauty in all of life and magic to be learned in every trial, when faced with your hand in the Lord's.

there are Knights in shining armor all around me... So that I may know one when I see one.

Have patients with those you are teaching... they're likely to fling the flour. But in the end the pancakes taste better for the time well spent.

No matter where you're at... you can wear a hat, like life, with style...

And the hat that fits is the one that brings joy to all around.

So now I'll pick up the hat they have passed down to me. I'll learn from lessons of their lives that encircle me and know Heaven has blessed me.

One is GREAT!... Two is BETTER!!!!!

2009-09-02T14:35:00.000-07:00

Happy Birthday to Little T! At Grandma J's with Cousin A.
Blowing out the candles... she blew her own out... without spitting!! Adopted Grandma did the cake.. beautifully! The dress that adopted Grandma got her.

Dress that Grandma J got her... for her Queen training to begin. :)

Another Outburst

2009-08-18T14:44:00.000-07:00

I just read some athiest comments to a song I like. Then... in seeking to feel something other than sad and depressed... I went to the LDS channel and listened to some comments about never being alone.
I can not discribe the feelings I have inside. I know when I listen/or read the words of those who call religion a "crutch", a "way to fill up your empty lives", "for the week"... I feel week, depressed, aloneness in their words.
There is no joy, just critisisim and mockery. I also read some responses from those who are anxious to "correct" their opinion and feel, anger and the need to be right.
When I go over and hear simple stories of God teaching eternal truths, it is freeing, so peacful and full of quiet joy and dignaty.

I have my own story. It is growing every day. I know that my knowledge is imperfect and would only be derided by those who make those kinds of comments. It would truly hurt me to post something sacred to me and be told I am a "moron"... or something simular. I wish to state here where it is my place to be and say the truth...

I know there is a God. He has spoken to my heart in a way I could never deny. I do not understand His ways fully but I know He is teaching me. I love Him and His Son with all my heart.
mE

I'm going to do/say something I don't usually do....

2009-08-15T17:07:00.000-07:00

I'm going to speak my mind.... It may be long it may be short but here goes.
I've just read an article I saw on a news line. It makes me incredibly sad. It literally makes me hurt to see people use the media to present one side of a story while using a few twisted comments to make it seem as though they are sharing both sides.
Why did I vote "yes" to 8? I did it for two reasons.
1... get this I know it's going to be hard to swallow... The Prophet said. I try to make my voting a spiritual thing. I want the Lord to lead this country, I should allow Him to lead my voting. If I sustain the President of the church as a Prophet (which I do) if he stands up and speaks out about something political (a VERY rare thing) I take notice and obey.
2... I would have voted "yes" anyway... after much debate of both sides... and trying to understand why the church would take this stand I realized two things. One was that under California law partners recieve all the same benifites that married people do. There for no "rights" are with held except the right to be called "married". So why should they push so hard to be called married? Then they have to deal with divorce and they have a high split up rate... It didn't make sense. Until I realized that they could then come and say "We have the "right" to be married." And any institution that said "no" could be put under legal action as having denied them their "rights". ... Why did Wilford Woodruff instruct the saints to stop practicing polygamy? Because it would have stopped the work of the temples. Why do I personally think we were told to fight so hard against this legislation? Because it had the possiblity of stopping the temple work in those areas...
Now that being said, I do not think that was the motive behind most of the supporters. I think most of them are people who are hurting and want to be seen as normal, good people. I think most of them are good poeple. I will not deny I am a bit of a homofobe... I don't like it about myself but it bothers me.. makes me sad for them. Would I like to be seen that way? No. Would I like others to see me as normal and aceptable? Yes. So, my heart goes out to those who are truly hurting. I wish I could make everything ok... but I can not. All I can do is love you and offer my support in rightous things. I could not support my loved ones in smoking and/or drugs... how could I in true love support someone in something that is as detrimental to their spirits? Yet I can love them. Period. I do not believe in "Love me, love my dog."

So there. I have spoken. I have many other opionions on many other topics but after reading that story and realizing how it was being used to misrepresent... I felt the need to represent myself.

Kissings and lovings all around!

2009-08-14T17:12:00.001-07:00

Some of my favorites... wish I could do a slide show.

2009-08-14T17:05:00.000-07:00

What I've been busy doing...

2009-08-14T16:54:00.000-07:00

I left one or two items out as they aren't worth showing off... lol.

EmmaLyn

2009-07-29T12:40:00.000-07:00

Was found to be healthy and (as far as we can tell) happy. She likes to suck on her fingers and she doesn't hold still for either cameras or fetal heart montors.

Marth

2009-07-16T09:54:00.000-07:00

I was thinking about Mary and MArtha today listening to some music and I had an Ah.
I've often heard these two women discussed in classes and private. Always the conclution is that Martha wasn't bad she was just too occupied in the worldly things. Preparing for this feast (or whatever) was more important to her than listening to the Savior. But what if...
What if deep in her heart all Martha desporatly wanted was to please her Lord? Everything she ws doing was in an effort to lighten His load and bring him joy. She was doing everything a Jewess had been taught to bring honor and delight to his Heart. What if the only thing she was missing wasn't over care for things of the world but a lack of understanding that the best way to please the Lord is to get to know him? Then all the duties we take on for this world will be nothing but a joy to Him. Until we come to know Him though... He watches as we go back and forth trying to please Him and wonders when we will see Him standing there waiting to help.

Beyond the Mists (another short story)

2009-07-15T09:48:00.000-07:00

Once, far across the lake, a fog lay thick and immovable, concealing an island. The people of the nearby village would often look up as they went about their day to see if the fog would lift. And when it did, driven by some unfelt gust of wind, there appeared at the edge of an island shore, a woman of surpassing beauty. She stood with her hands out stretched to any who looked upon her.

Some said she pleaded for rescue. Others knew that she offered herself and their greatest desires. But the only thing each held in his heart was the need to reach and win the apparition for himself. Year after year men and young men vanished soon after an appearance. Year after year men were found murdered by friend or foe in the desperate fight to reach her first.

Mothers told their children of the temptress that lived across the lake. They warned never to look or their heart too would be consumed by the fire that had destroyed so many. For not a woman in the village had not lost a brother or son or, in some horrific cases, their very own husbands.
The children grew and told each other frightening tales of the witch. Little children wouldn’t go near the lake shore to play let alone look across to the foggy waters. The village withdrew from the evil. Women found new streams to wash their clothes. Men found new rivers to fish and hunt near. The children grew to fear and loathe the thought of even looking south toward the lake.

A great forest grew up around the lake. The children became parents and told their children of the witch that lived across the lake on the other side of the forest. They told of how their father’s and Uncles were lost to her hideous grasp.
Their children grew and they told their children of the witch who lived in the forest who was haggard and would eat their hearts if they wandered too far in.
These children grew and found these stories as quaint, traditional ways of keeping their children safe. They themselves had played in at the edge of the forest growing up and had of course never seen a witch. They told the stories around the fire late at night and at special times of year. It was part of their tradition that had been well kept. But when their smallest daughter came running in the night, crying of a nightmare, they took her in their arms and assured her there was no witch and these were only stories, nothing more. For indeed that’s all they were.

One day a young man sat with his friends on the edge of the forest, just as they sat on the edge of their manhood. “I wonder what the world holds for us.” He pondered.
“No more than it held for our fathers.” Came a lazy reply.
“Why shouldn’t it? What is stopping us from being greater than they?”
“They have done all there is to do.”
“Have they?”
“What do you propose?”
The young man smiled and answered. “This forest here could provide good income should we choose to chop it down. But think even further. To go to the city we must walk around it. Why not chop it down and make a road to the city. We shall be rich and our town would appoint us as rulers they will prosper so much as well.”
Much pleased with this idea the young men set about planning it all out. The elders of the village opposed them greatly at first. Tradition held that the forest was evil. In their hearts they felt anxiety at going in the face of what they had always known. But the boys were persistent and soon persuaded the leaders with thoughts of the money that would flow into the village. While the oldest of them warned and bemoaned the traditions being abandoned.
Free at last to follow their hearts the young men set to work. Tree after tree fell to the laughter of boys building their dreams on wisdom their forerunners had not possessed. Recalling the witch of the fairy tales and actively cutting down the bondage she represented.

Till one day they came upon the shores of the lake. Whole new possibilities rang in their minds. Soon half the town had moved into new homes built with the lumber down nearer to the lake. New boats were built and fisher men rejoiced in the abundance of the catches. Ferries built and began moving across the lake as the road to the city was completed on the other side. Commerce from the city made the village prosperous beyond their imagination. And the young man, now older, was made governor of village which had now grown into a city itself.
Everyone was so happy coming and going they rarely looked toward the distant patch of fog that never seemed to lift. As prosperity grew a pleasure boat was made and people road just for fun to look about the lake. The governor’s daughter went excitedly. Upon that first voyage the ship never returned. Many looked day after day expecting them to return from the misty side of the lake. Then a slight breeze caressed the curtains aside, there stood a lovely young woman with her hands out stretched.
None restrained themselves, boy and girl alike, all were lost in the murky depths trying to reach that distant shore.
Again it happened. and again. Till like a plague only those who had remained in the old village were left to morn the loss and replant the forest.

The first crytic on this one said "You don't write happy stories do you?"
My reply "I didn't feel happy tpday. It's suposed to be profound."
His reply "This would go well in a phylosophy class." I guess that's a compliment? LOL

Goodnews...a short story

2009-07-09T09:36:00.000-07:00

As Dawn Aproaches

Thus when Dawn aproches the night must flee away.
Bringing with her grace and beauty
And the unforgiving Day.

Like midnight he crept with unperceivable speed to see what strange group had invade his relm. A hooded cloak masking his identity and blending him further into the darkness that permeated the dense wood. The hunted must not be seen, even if the huntress was not in site.
“We shall be home soon.” The Lady in the center said in a smallish frightened voice. No one answered but the horses. Her white fur lined cloak rippled softly making it seem as though she were aglow in the dim candle light. Her face like his was hidden beneath a large hood. She was at the center of the secrecy that pervaded this group’s purpose. He must watch, follow till their purpose be known or their presence departed.

A large clysdale carrying an equally large man trotted excitedly back along the ranks. “Your Highness, the way is clear. We’ve found no evidence of an ambush.”
“Very good. Then we shall…”
A scream broke through the night air like the first spark in a flash fire. Thuds and moans mingled with fresh screams of terror as horses pranced wildly out of control causing as much of the confusion as the attack.
The cloaked figure reached for a nearby branch and swung himself upward. Ascending quickly thirty feet into the stately pine canopy. The whole desperate scene lay below him.
Men and horses on the path were quickly falling. Some tried to flee others shot their arrows though their wild darting eyes saw no one.

In the trees, about ten feet below him other intruders shot carefully taking down their marks with an easy that spoke of long experience. They were few of number but their tactic did not call for numbers.
These must be the danger the stars had warned him of.
A high pitched female scream pierced his ears causing him to lose his grip for a moment. Looking back he saw the white flowing figure being unceremoniously wrenched from her mount and trust over the front of the saddle of the monstrous horse. The man threw his head back and laughed, a sound which bellowed his triumph above the quickly fading din of agony.
The warning had said danger was coming. He had assumed it meant danger to him. Without wasting another moment he swept down from the trees. His momentum allowing him to knock two of the archers from their perch. Moments later he landed in a crouch with a sickening crack, the two men pinned unmoving beneath him.
“Release her.” He hissed, his voice carrying like an ever fading never dyeing echo. The man high above just laughed and pulled his stallion into a full rear.
Dodging the flailing hooves, the cloaked one pushed off the trunk of a nearby tree and thrust himself at the giants and his load. The three plummeted to the ground landing in a heap. The giant at the bottom. Not waiting for the temporarily still figure to move, he swept the lady up and spirited her away.

A sharp night breeze informed him they had reached the edge of the forest and as far as he dared go.
Slowing to a stop he set her down. Her cloak still covered all but her delicate lips. Patting her hand gently he called her back to consciousness. “My Lady, My Lady. I must leave you now but my friends the stars will protect you.”
A perverse smile spread across the seemingly tender lips. “No they shant.” The man jerked back as the familiar voice assaulted his ears. “They shall flee from the sky as they have always done.” Slender glowing fingers reached up to touch the hood. “Ten years of never ending darkness is too longer brother Night. And yet you made this hunt especially good. But I have won at last.” With a flick of the fingers and one last shudder of horror and disbelief from him, her hood fell and a radiant light burst forth.
And he knew that his rein was over for Dawn was upon him.

This art work was found through google search no infringment on right was intended. The only one who I know I borrowed from was by Liga marta Klavina (the man and woman on horse back.)

does this segment get too boring?

2009-07-08T06:47:00.000-07:00

“I’m sorry miss.”
“That’s all right, I’m just jumpy tonight. It’s not every night you’re forced upon some unsuspecting Noble man.”
“Now daughter,” Mother. “That’s not how it is.”
“Then how is it Mother?”
“We’re just giving them the opportunity to do what they haven’t had the chance to do. I’m sure before the night is out you’ll see how sought after you are. You just intimidate them.”
The intimidation line. Why do guys always get that excuse? If a guy is incredible we’re expected to swoon. And females are supposed to believe that a guy is going to run if the girl is too wonderful?
“I know mother. I’ll try to be less splendid tonight.”
“MaryAnn, can you do something with her hair?” My maid curtsies, failing to mention that she just finished ‘doing something’ with my hair ten minutes ago after unsuccessfully working at it for an hour. My bottom is getting sore.
“Mother, I look as good as I’m going to. This make up couldn’t be thicker and only ten of my moles are showing. I think Mary Ann has done a wonderful job.” As good as anyone could.
“You’re right.” Mother sighs. “What would we do without you MaryAnn?” My maid curtsies again and leaves with a nod. Off to help fair pampered White with her hair. She’ll only take ten minutes. Of course soon MaryAnn will be just Snow White’s maid and I’ll have to find someone new. I wonder if in my new home we’ll be able to find someone who specializes in plating straw?
“Don’t look at yourself like that.”
“How am I looking at myself mother?”
“Like you’re criticizing every inch of you.”
“Well I figure I’d join the party.”
“None of us…”
“I know mother, it’s just hard living among the exceptionally beautiful.”
“You are beautiful too.” She almost whispers it. I guess it’s hard to lie out loud.
“Let’s go down. Not long now. Any special guests entering with us?”
“A young Earl your brother brought back with him.”
“Is Charming back?”
“Yes,” She laughs. “I forgot to tell you. He’s been home for two hours and is dying to see you.”
My younger brother. He might be better looking than all of us but he never makes me feel awkward like Charmant, my older brother, does. He’s been gone a long time on diplomatic missions.
“I’ll see you in the hall mother!” I kiss her cheek and fly down stairs. “Charming!” Perhaps not the most ladylike entrance but I really don’t care. If Charming had been here this ball wouldn’t be happening.
The overly tall doors stand open. No one shuts them if they don’t need to. I sprint in. Mary Ann might have to touch my hair up before the ball. “Charming?” my voice echoes through the large study. One wall is all window and the other two are covered in portraits of the family. The room is large enough for three widely separated arrangements of furniture. Each harmonious yet different. We use the room for entertaining guests before and after a long journey as it is near the entrance to the guest wing and the kitchen for quick refreshments. I hear a chuckle in the far corner.
“Charming!”
“Sis…” He stands up and opens his arms. I run into them knocking a little wind out of him. “Not changed a bit.”
“You’ve been doing enough for both of us.” I stand back and look at him. My little brother isn’t so little. “In which kingdom do they eat frogs?” He raises an eye brow. “You must have eaten one I can still hear him croaking down there.” Charming just laughs. “So did you hear about the fiasco?”
“The ball? Yes, my friend is looking forward to it. I’m glad they planned it so well. Timing couldn’t have been better.”
“Did you hear the point?”
“Ah! Earl Wall, may I introduce my sister?”
I turn around to see a very green eyed man walking toward me. I would tell you more but his eyes almost glow.
“Lady … it is my great pleasure to meet you at long last.” Wow this guy’s bumping up the charm. I wonder what his political agenda is?
“Sis was just telling me about the ball. Did you know that some lucky man is going to get her hand in marriage tonight?” I feel my face go red. There goes the makeup job.
“May I ask whom I am dueling tomorrow for fair maiden’s hand?” I’m not sure there’s any color in my face now. Dang this whole silent women thing!
“Ah that’s the mystery. We shant know till the night is ended.”
“Then perhaps I shall have the chance of stealing her heart before it is too late.” Charming slaps the Earls back and they take their places as though to sit down. That’s my queue to either park it or leave. I hesitate. I want to take off but I’m curious. I sit.
They begin to talk about the guest apartments and I am free to observe. His nose is long but his chin is strong. Father always says to look at the chin for a good ruler. Jet black hair… no there are auburn streaks, how interesting. His fingers are long and slender, not something you see in the nobility these days. You need large hands to wield the knight’s swords. His voice… what is he saying?
“Of course it is strange to inherit a throne when one has been brought up to be an Earl. But I guess I’ll have to get used to it.” He’s going to be a King? That would explain everything. He’s wooing me and my brother because as a new, and probably unexpected, king he’ll need strong allies. Well at least now I can stop blushing.
“Lords,” I stand, my head hurts and I need my hair fixed again. “I shall see you in the hall.”
********************************************************************************

I can hear the commotion. It’s thrilling but tonight it’s also petrifying. If only I didn’t have to go in there.
Charming offers his arm. And the doors begin to open. The familiar voice of our announcer booms out.
“His Highness King Charmant the first. Her royal highness Queen Beauty. His highness Prince Charmant the second and his Lady Princess White. Prince Charming and the Lady … . The Earl of Wall of the Kingdom of Glass.
The guests are watching as we glide by. I hope I’m gliding. The women with their hats like horns and the men with their mustaches like cats that forgot to move when the men got up that morning.
“They really should look into mirrors before they come to these events.” Comes the silken voice from behind us. I giggle wondering if he had been thinking something similar.
Charming removes his arm as he leaves me by my throne. The room is going to look lopsided when I’m gone and my chair is removed.
Three strikes on the marble floor and the orchestra begin again. I am free to sit.
For the first time I’m grateful no one knows the point of this evening. It would be hard to have everyone staring and whispering. Now instead I can watch. Swirling dresses in rhythmic grace flow in waves across the vast hall. A long line of Lords and Ladies are being brought forward to be introduced to the entire family. My parents subtle way of getting to see each option one at a time and let me see too. But I really don’t care. I’d rather only give the amount of attention required. They will choose for me, why get my hopes up?
The Earl of Wall gets up and leads me to the floor. It really is good of him, sucking up or no sucking up.

How Ever After Happened to Happen....

2009-06-20T15:46:00.001-07:00

Once upon a time… you know the story. Happily ever after… yada yada… the end.
At least that’s how it was for my parents. I grew up hearing their story and imagining my own magnificent tale. Every few weeks a new scenario would present itself. Always his love for me would overcome all obstacles.
What an idiot I was.
Now here I am. Oh joy. Twenty seven and still unmarried. Why am I unmarried? My father asks me the same thing in a million different way every day. My mother is a little more subtle but when all you had to do was make sure your lips stick was on properly and fall asleep for one hundred years, its hard to understand why your daughter can’t seem to get it together. Did it ever occur to her that she was technically one hundred and nineteen when her true love showed up?
I even tried the whole sleeping thing, but it turns out Dad was really good at his job. The evil fairy took flight… you guessed it… “Was never heard from again.”
I guess this could have gone on forever. But alas, my sweet little brother went and found a girl with lips as red as the red red rose, once again, asleep under a glass case. Then instead of sending that witch my way he found out the seven dorves had already waked her. Why do the other girls get all the luck?
So he bring home Snow White and I get informed by her sweetness that I’m too bitter and that’s when the ball was planned.
Now don’t get me wrong I love balls. But the door prize at this ball is my hand in marriage. Yeah, that’s right. “Come to our ball and you just might get lucky and take home an overly ripe madden”. No one would have RSVP’d except they were smart enough to not mention the door prize in the invitation. And over course turning down my hand when it is offered would be a very bad political move.
“Ow! MaryAnne please watch the wart.” Can’t she even put my make up on without hurting me?
“I’m sorry miss

2009-06-19T15:38:00.000-07:00

So I just realized I'm like one of the few people out there without a picture attached to her name...
OH WELL :)

Home Again Home again ...jigaty jog

2009-06-16T12:11:00.000-07:00

We now have a camera... (applause)
I have descided that what I shall do is write with the new info I have. If it is sellable then so be it if not I pray it touchs the lives it was ment to touch...even if it's just mine :)
And now back to life... back to the... la di di... can't remember the rest of the song.
ttfn

The BIG Question

2009-06-11T12:29:00.001-07:00

Is it worth it to write slush and slip in a little of the good (Like milk for a baby)...
Or is it better to hold a high standred and write only for yourself and the few who might be close to you?

Random Ramblings

2009-05-25T19:11:00.000-07:00

So the dog is gone... decided things were getting worse and not better (he randomly started pooing on the floor every night...) and that with a baby coming we need things to be better not worse. So no dog for awhile. Experience triumphs again *sigh*

I can't figure out why my blog side bar is down at the bottom of all the entrys...talk about inconvenient.

We got little T a slide... it's fun ($15)

OH! and my favorite!
Our front yard is bursting with roses! It's so pretty... if extremly haphazard (whoever chose the colors didn't have a sceme they just put lots of roses.... Though some do match which means at one point they were probably corodinated and then whoever replaced them didn't know what they were doing) ANyway... I wish I had the camera... there's a tall arching bush that has tiny yellow roses (it's almost done blooming...sandess) and ever so many other kinds and colors... there's also these large puffy flowers that accent here and there... they are fun and exciting. And right by the door are snap dragons (I LOVE SNAP DRAGONS!) two colors and there's been a conversant one almost daily since they bloomed. I shall look forward to summer ever year we live here.

The End

2009-05-21T12:47:00.000-07:00

A storm is coming
I can feel it brewing.
Somewhere deep in my soul it amasses
The craving that must devour
And drench me in it’s power
Until I submit
Then like gentle shower it recedes
Complacent at the gift it has received.
Leaving my soul whole and fresh and fed.

In the words of Mother

2009-05-14T10:30:00.000-07:00

I just had a TooFunny!
I was blogging and turned around to see Little T with a towel in her mouth. Not so bad but at the other end of the towel was the dog. They were growling at eachother!
A little while later I hear T saying "No!" and chasing after the dog. I tell him to drop whatever he's got and watch her pick up the same towel and stick it in her mouth and trot back over to me.
Weirdo!

Guess we know who she came from.

Yesterday I told Yrgysh that if I had a book of scriptures it would go "I mE having been born of weird parents, having grown up in a strange place with strange siblings, therefor I am weird and strange."

Oh what to be when I grow up?

2009-05-05T13:02:00.000-07:00

How about an Astronaut?

Or maybe a farmer? (My family are all animals after all... I have experience!)

I could build a gaint exosuit with my Dad.... I wonder is legos would be a good medium?

The whole Jedi thing doesn't really apeal to me...

But whatever I do I'm sure it will be Romantic!

I HATE morningsickness!

2009-04-16T09:12:00.001-07:00

Is there anyway to possibly express how much I dispise and hate morning sickness?!
\Last night a woman who just left her first trimester was talking abt how little she experienced it... this did not bother me... then she started talking about throwing up and I couldn't handle it! I wanted to keep the browniee I was eating down thankyou very much!
That being said she didn't know. We havn't told many people outside the family.
But reiterate... I hate loth dispise morningsickness.
Though I think it's harder to deal with this time because it will be weeks before I know if the baby is doing well and growing or not. At least knowning it is doing well makes it worth it yes?
enough of my pesimim
mE

Iris is going to be a song writer

2009-04-09T17:15:00.000-07:00

Kiss Me

2009-04-07T14:19:00.000-07:00

Karen looked around her. Not a soul in the room noticed her. A small overly awkward teen amongst mainly confident slightly older teens. There was laughter… plenty of it. And from where she stood she could see both the family room where there was a game of pool going on and into the kitchen where Christmas treats from Holland were being doled out. It was ofcourse tradtion for the church youth to have a round the world progressive dinner every year about this time. It was Karen’s second year.
She smiled as she over heard a rather silly joke. That’s when she heard it…
“Kiss me!” The voice was deep and obviously filled with mirth and standing right behind her. She turned and saw one of the nicest guys she’d ever met, Sam( three years her senior and boyfriend of the coolest girl in the group.) “Kiss ME!” he repeated getting down on one knee making it much more possible to comply with the demand. Karen knew she was blushing but she couldn’t help it, she’d never been more confused in her life. Then she saw him wink and point descreetly up at the mistle toe above her head. She wanted to run and hide she wanted him to kiss her at the very least. But she leaned over and kissed his cheek and then jumped back. “Ah my lady!” Sam shouted and lept to his feet and before she could escape he had grabbed her hand and planted a firm brotherly kiss upon it. “You make me the luckiest Christmas fool!” By this time several others were around talking and Karen slipped to another side of the room. Smiling sweetly at the thought of his kiss but feeling sick to her stomach all the same for the unasked for attention. She glanced over at him and he winked.
_________________________________________________________________________________

Karen laughed out right.
“Kiss ME!” A rather deep voice repeated from behind her. She turned around and there was Sam tall and handsome as ever. She had known he had tranfered to her college but almost a whole year had passed and she hadn’t seen him.
“Sam!” She reached out a hugged him.
“Didn’t you here my demand?” He said holding her back. “I sadi kiss me? How am I supposed to be anything other than a frog if none of these ladies around here will give me a proverbial kiss?”
Karen shrugged, years of maturing making her much more composed. “There’s no misiltoe you havn’t got a leg to stand on.”

Sam dropped to his nees. And Karen lost her composer. “Stop it! Get up.” She pleaded but he only winked at her and puckered up. She dropped a quick kiss on his forhead and watched in dismay as he fained a faint. Then she turned to walk away just as red and daunted as she had been that night so many years ago.
“Wait up!” Sam called and quickly caught up without her waiting. “Do I look more like a Prince?” he asked.
___________________________________________________________________________________

“Kiss ME” was written all over all the napkins. And a banner was hung up with it embalened in the wedding colors. “Kiss ME” was written out in red frosting on the grooms cake with a mistle toe in the corner. And there was Sam tall strong and handsome waiting for her to join him in welcoming guests.
_____________________________________________________________________________________

Karen blinked. Now why did he have to go and wink at her like that? This was going to be a hard crush to get over.

2009-04-04T08:33:00.001-07:00

I love conference yes I do
I love conference how bout you?

So one more announcement.

2009-04-01T20:54:00.000-07:00

Well maybe one more... or maybe more you never know till you're done. Little T would like to say that she LOVES her dog! More than her parents because she'll give it kisses and not her parents. *sigh* I'm not sure I want the dog anymore. LOL!

But no... the announcement is that we are pregnant.

We've had no problems since "the scare" and morning sickness just getts funner.
Yay for blessngs :)

We got a puppy!

2009-03-29T20:15:00.000-07:00

Well he's like 2 yrs old and only here on trial.
The puppy is wonderful with Little T. We have been able to trust him more than her not to get in trouble. But we don't know if Handsome is allegic to it or not. Wish I could post a picture (but I don't have a camera... instead we bought a dog) He's part shnouser and who knows whatelse.
Ahwell... he's a cuty and so calm... hopfully will stay.

I WASHED MY CAMERA!!!!!

2009-03-19T21:49:00.000-07:00

My Man said I let out the magic smoke... Should we have a burial service?

Can't Pinch me! I'm the Shamrock Woman! :p

2009-03-17T08:32:00.000-07:00

This Poem was coauthored by Little T

2009-03-10T06:53:00.000-07:00

Blue eye shine –forth 6666666666666666
-+++++++++++++++++And help –me push 8the buttons
Blue eyes// smilue i-
/8888888+And help me push the 9buttons
}}|

Walk like a Little T

2009-03-02T16:29:00.000-08:00

Or is it like a Daddy?

Celiec stuff

2009-02-28T16:10:00.000-08:00

So Little T's blood work came back negative...no celiac for her yet

In memory of a bad kindergarden hair cut...

2009-02-23T12:59:00.000-08:00

There are those of you who will remember that hair cut and say this is just punishment.

I asked SnugglE to cut my bangs and didn't remember to tell him to cut it longer than you want when it's wet until after the first snip... Ah well I guess we must all live and learn... and learn.. and learn... LOL... the question is will it be me again or is it going to be Tori next?

Bad Hairdays 101

2009-02-23T12:23:00.000-08:00

Ok... everybody knows what I'm talking about.
You get up and wash your hair...

You try and fix it up really nice...
Maybe put some curlers in...

Or maybe stick in a few cute baubles...

Then something happens between that delightful shower and your destination.

Maybe it's the cow lick nightmare....

Maybe it's humidity...

Or the wind blown tragedy...

Or maybe it's the monster hair eating curling iron...

What do you do?
That's what we're here to teach you...
First you cry a little....

Then you try to calm it down with anything on hand....

If that doesn't work you just might lose it...

That's ok because the one thing that you should learn from this class is ...
When in doubt ...you can always look great if you just...

Put on a hat.

Duh.

For those of you who don't know

2009-02-23T12:09:00.000-08:00

I'm on a gluten free lifstyle now ...I'd tell you about it...but ...I'm not one of those helpful kinds of blogs. Though I am grateful for the ones that are!
I'm just going to say that today I'm glad to be gluten free...and on my way to healing. NO MORE SKINNY GUANT ME!

I shall be posting again

2009-02-18T14:09:00.000-08:00

As soon as we find the thingy that allows me to download pics... I have something like a parable I want to post but it's still developing in my head and my legs are going numb from sitting on the floor...
The good news...today or tomorrow we should get a desk!!! and then friday we should get a fridge and a W/D !! yahoo clean socks! And then mid march we should get the floating island so I wont have box just sitting around my kitchen... then if my house is a mess... well nothing will have changed lol!
Hugs
mE

So... I can decide...

2009-02-13T18:09:00.000-08:00

Should I go cronologicaly and catch everyone up to speed (probably not in a very speedy manner)?
Or Should I post as the inspiration presents itself?

Basiclly should I putmyself in a box?

Or allow creative (though unpredictable) license?

Hummm?

What say you?
Comments?
:)

Tooth brush mainia

2009-02-13T18:01:00.000-08:00

This is the way we brush our teeth!

Brush your teeth!

Brush My teeth
This is the way we brush our teeth!
Then we all can go out!!
Wahoo!

I'm BACK......

2009-02-12T21:08:00.000-08:00

Daya miss me?

The Concert pianist sings

2008-06-27T14:46:00.000-07:00

Also she woke up with this doo yesterday... We called her Mohawk girl all morning... cracked me up!

Day at the beach

2008-06-27T14:44:00.000-07:00

I tried to take a picture but found the video was on... but only for a second befor the power went out... Duh!

Among the Gaints!

2008-06-27T14:30:00.000-07:00

When Venus came to visit we made the trip up to the Sequaias and feasted our eyes upon the One hundred Gaints trail.
It was beautiful and full of hidden fairy tales.
Nana found one big enough for a nice starter house. She had to move quickly incase it stepped on her!

This is MUCH taller than our houses!

It was so hot! even the trees were sagging!

This is a peice of artwork [by Unlce Alfred (one of the Hundred giants who had come for the giant family reunion party.) it's called "Tanggled"] It must have taken YEARS to create and then up root just right.

Here's one of us all together. I decided it was bigenough to build a boat the size of the Ark!

Doo Wop Shoo Wop

2008-06-06T14:06:00.000-07:00

Little WiggE has begun to dance... Whether she pushes her button or we turn on Sesame Street music, she goes to town (Reminds me of GrandmommE's dancing)... I get way to much of a kick out of her... and him (hehe)

Going for walks

2008-06-06T13:57:00.000-07:00

I like to walk with Daddy
I like to walk with Mom

But the time I like to walk the most
Is when together we're all gone

Ok so not my best rymning poetry... but cute huh?

Chasing DaddE

2008-06-06T13:54:00.001-07:00

I don't know who had more fun with this... Yrgysh or little WigglE... but it's becoming a night time ritual.

I love to see the Temple

2008-05-20T12:39:00.001-07:00

I love to see the temple.
I'm going there someday

To feel the Holy Spirit,
To listen and to pray.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the temple is a house of God,
A place of love and beauty.

I'll prepare myself while I am young;
This is my sacred duty.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
I love to see the temple.
I'll go inside someday.

I'll cov'nant with my Father;
I'll promise to obey.

--------------------------------------------------------------------------------
For the temple is a holy place
Where we are sealed together.

As a child of God,
I've learned this truth;
A fam'ly is forever.

Peek-a-Boo

2008-05-20T12:37:00.000-07:00

I found her doing this a grabed the camera...cracked me up!

The question is... was she playing peek-a-boo...or exibiting "the nack" and trying to figure it out?

Peek-a-Boo

2008-05-20T12:33:00.000-07:00

Little WigglE crawled off while I was busy and when I went to find her this is what greeted me... cracked me up...

Now the question is... was she playing...or being an engineer like her dad's and trying to figure out how it works...?

Randome moments

2008-05-20T12:26:00.000-07:00

Time for a walk...

So Pretty Yrgish had to take a picture...

So pretty I had to take a picture...

But she is the prettiest of them all...

It's been awhile

2008-05-20T12:00:00.000-07:00

But here's some poetry. It stinks but is all that would come this morning.

Pride rejecth ... Pride Falleth

Mary, Mary, she stood upon the leaves of truth.
She stood and knew not what to do.
Happiness, Happiness lay beyond her reach
Yet it lay beneath her feet.
All she must do is bend and lift it to her.
Yet she stood looking upon it there.
Sadness, Sadness had she but bent lily white nee
What joy might have been?
Mary, Mary make your way away.
Follow not that path, go not that way.
Joy, Joy that might be.
Stoop and lift of the truth
Of what is and will be.
Bend thy neck to see what lies upon thy path.
Fear not and do not disdain.
Joy, Joy is all yours for this one thing
Truth lays beneath your feet
You have but to lift and embrace it.

My talent...
Can you open the door to magic?
Can you reach out and retrieve what once was lost
Now calls to me
“Help please, help, before the tide carries me away.”?
You are what I can not see and yet
I heard you whisper to me
My heart is happy when I turn away
Why do you call to me still?
Am I great that you have chosen me?
It is it servitude that you require?

I reach heart longing to touch you and be fulfilled
Yet like bitter woman you turn and flee
Why did you call me here just to turn away?
I hate you
I love you
Shall I ever bring you back some day?

I laughed this morning.
Then I heard your voice.
I run to capture you, yet you allude me.
My life is in shambles
And you, evil lady,
Rejoice.

You should turn the sound off of this one :)

2008-04-17T12:40:00.000-07:00

My man wasv playing with a Gyroscope the other day and I thought this was really cool... if a little long... but Little WigglE wanted attention so her voice is a little demanding in the back ground. lol

Little WigglE finds the Button

2008-04-17T12:25:00.000-07:00

Anytime we set her down in her room latly she high tales it over to her pink button.

Little DressE

2008-04-17T09:49:00.000-07:00

I'n't she cute!
I had too show off... what mother doesn't?
And that bow actually stayed in her hair most of the day! :o!

HairE Day

2008-04-17T09:15:00.000-07:00

Sometimes Little WigglE gets down about having no hair.
So she desided to look for a wig...
This looks fluffy...

Mommy has enough hair to spare..

Oh well guess I'll have to wait... in the mean time...little bows!

Radmon moments

2008-04-02T19:05:00.000-07:00

I caught her eating her sock the other day... really!

And she decided she was going to pick up Mommies project and finish it for her...unfortunatly her idea of crocheting involved alot of gumming...

And the LittlE family.

An...unknown... gift

2008-04-02T18:55:00.001-07:00

Many years ago my Brother-in-law gave me a kit to make a Horse named Winne...Winne was rather large and un natural...
This is Winne's Daughter though...made from the same pattern but with many more years of expereince in the makers fingers.
So even though he didn't know it We thought we'd say thank you for one of Little WigglE's favorite toys...
Thank you RedBeard!