Jun 20, 2009

How Ever After Happened to Happen....

Once upon a time… you know the story. Happily ever after… yada yada… the end.
At least that’s how it was for my parents. I grew up hearing their story and imagining my own magnificent tale. Every few weeks a new scenario would present itself. Always his love for me would overcome all obstacles.
What an idiot I was.
Now here I am. Oh joy. Twenty seven and still unmarried. Why am I unmarried? My father asks me the same thing in a million different way every day. My mother is a little more subtle but when all you had to do was make sure your lips stick was on properly and fall asleep for one hundred years, its hard to understand why your daughter can’t seem to get it together. Did it ever occur to her that she was technically one hundred and nineteen when her true love showed up?
I even tried the whole sleeping thing, but it turns out Dad was really good at his job. The evil fairy took flight… you guessed it… “Was never heard from again.”
I guess this could have gone on forever. But alas, my sweet little brother went and found a girl with lips as red as the red red rose, once again, asleep under a glass case. Then instead of sending that witch my way he found out the seven dorves had already waked her. Why do the other girls get all the luck?
So he bring home Snow White and I get informed by her sweetness that I’m too bitter and that’s when the ball was planned.
Now don’t get me wrong I love balls. But the door prize at this ball is my hand in marriage. Yeah, that’s right. “Come to our ball and you just might get lucky and take home an overly ripe madden”. No one would have RSVP’d except they were smart enough to not mention the door prize in the invitation. And over course turning down my hand when it is offered would be a very bad political move.
“Ow! MaryAnne please watch the wart.” Can’t she even put my make up on without hurting me?
“I’m sorry miss


skinny minny said...

LOL! COuld be a journal entry from my life! :)

Texasblu said...

lol - this is awesome, except it didn't go where I thought you were going. Wouldn't it be funny if Prince Charming were the younger brother, and so they had the ball where they found Cinderella? Or something goofy like that? I thought that was who was talking until you wrote "overly ripe maiden".

You know, those ladies were looking at your writing for teens, but I think you make a great fairy storyteller. You've got a great mind for it.

Oh, and technically, "madden" should be "maiden". Just 'cause, you know, we want real feedback. ;)