Jun 29, 2010

How's this for a book? Would you keep reading? lol

Searching for My Soul Mate

“No matter what, I will find you!” says mullet sporting, shiny teeth, singer acting out a scene from pre-earth life. “And I’ll be waiting. I promise!” responds gorgeous actress. Twenty minutes and several songs later they meet. They recognize. They sing. Soul mates. Romantic right?
So maybe I was naive. Maybe I was this overly boy crazy, romantic, dreamer that couldn’t get it out of her head that maybe, just maybe, there was a guy somewhere out there who had promised to find me, little mousey brown haired me, and who would remember his love for me the moment we met.
Ok, you can pull yourself up off the floor now. It’s been a long hard road and believe me, my ideas have been taken to the revision table more times than I like to remember.
But here’s the thing. It’s my story and, whether you believe it or not, this is the way it happened.

Chapter One
How I knew he existed
I had probably done it that morning. Please, don’t laugh. It was a ritual. When the danilions turned to thistle down and those large puff balls of mystery and power started to take flight amongst the pine woods of southeast texas, I found my bit of magic. Running about a field of them I plucked stem after stem and taking large breaths, made a statment and tried to blow all of the seeds off. If I got them all in one breath the statement was true. If not, well then not. Kind of like one of those bowling balls with the phrases dice suspended in blue water. Yeah, only with nature so it had to be more valid right?
Anyway, my favorite wish? “I will meet my true love at church this week.”
I was going to marry someone who believed the same things I did. I felt too strongly about it to even consider anything else, yes even at fourteen, which is where this story begins. So, the best place to meet my soul mate would be at church. One never knew when one’s soul mate might show up. My older sister’s had shown up when she was fifteen, my other sister when she was eight. Mine was due any time!
Though, as it turns out, this wasn’t just any day. Today I was visiting my sister and going with her to her parish.
The chapel doors seemed to say to me, “Hush be still” I shook under their gaze. This meeting house was dark compared to the one I usually attended. Parishioners chatted easily, and I listened. I’m a good listener, mostly because I’m too scared to say anything.


Texasblu said...

Ditch the prologue, and yes, I would keep reading. You have a beautiful style - wish it was mine.

The reason why I say ditch the 1st part is that it doesn't reflect the dreamy nature the protagonist takes on in Chapter 1. And I don't think that's a bad thing - I think women/girls want to get "dreamy". It's a strength - why not play up to it?

And I think it's an enchanting idea!

Little Miss Sunshine said...

I would read it. It sounds fun :)

hummer said...

Well, I would keep reading, but really need to work on the creative spelling, and thought...lost me a one place...maybe a conversation would help...That is me with you and explanation ensuing.